[QOTW] Quote Of The Week, May 9th

[QOTW]

Hello, dear subscribers- apologies for this email's slight
tardiness.

Your votes on last week's batch of hilarity resulted in a tie
between these two gems:
"So if a cow is living in the wild and... milks
itself into a bucket somehow, _that_ would be vegan."
- Gabe
Murchison

"There will be no AP question that asks: 'What was the stain on
Monica Lewinsky's blue dress? A: A McFlurry...' "
- Ms. Haber

This week's
ten:
"Don't use it and don't quote me."
- Mr. Riahi

"It's like the third
circle of my own personal inferno."
- Ms. Cyrier, on Walmart

"Carnally?
Who's that?"
- Miriam Seldin-Stein, on getting to _know_ people.

"Oh,
Kennedy... I had a crush on him when I was five. My kindergarten boyfriend
wanted Nixon to win. That was the end of the relationship." 
- Ms.
Grant

"Shaul... do you have a psychiatrist?"
- Mr. Davis, becoming
concerned about Shaul's tendency to grab any writing implements within
arm's reach

"I will now rewrite this equation in a suggestive manner.
[muffled laughter from the class] Oh, God, I don't even want to know what
you're all thinking..."
- Ms. Cyrier

"I thought they were here because of
the water."
- a strange Bostonian, talking to Asa about the Marines in
Copley

"Okay, so this question has nothing to do with anything we've been
talking about, but..."
"That's okay, it will fit right in."
- Tricia and
Ms. Budding in Ancient History

"If the Americans could do it, the Soviets
would, too. Take, for example, maize.
'We shall raise maize across Siberia!
We shall raise maize in Uzbekistan!
We shall raise maize along the Black
Sea! We shall raise maize to the North Pole!' " [triumphantly raises
fist]
- Dr. Lukov, professor of history

"Why don't they say 'I'm going to
play some penultimate frisbee'? Or 'frisbee-football'?"
- Mr.
Conolly

There they are. Now, your jobs: firstly, vote by replying to this
email following the instructions laid out here:
http://www.qotw.net/voting.php.
Secondly, and most importantly, if you want
to have another dose of hilarity next week, submit funny things here:
http://www.qotw.net/submit.php. Please. Really.

That's all I've got,
besides the obligatory Honorable Mentions plug.
(Think about subscribing,
if you haven't already, to the every-once-in-a-while collections of the
quotes that didn't make it into the main email. You can do so by sending an
email to honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net.)

Enjoy, and please do
submit and vote.
- Asa "sometimes I have a research paper to finish and a
lab report to write and so I end up sending out a crappy little bare-bones
QOTW email in which I complain about said work in a self-referential
nickname-quotation-thing" Goodwillie

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