[QOTW] Quote of the Weeks, 11/21. That's right, it has an S at the end!

[QOTW]

Dear readers who read QOTW which is read by all who read it:
	We have a special QOTW e-mail for all of you, because it’s actually 
QOT2W! Only not so much because we didn’t actually have two weeks’ 
worth of submissions in the first place. You’re all probably wondering 
what the occasion was, right? Well, Asa had to do tech week and I told 
him how I have less work than him and at the same time don’t have to 
stay up for the play, and would promise to do QOTW on Saturday. Then 
for Sunday. Then Monday. You can see that a trend was forming here. 
Now, I suggest that maybe the blame would be better put on someone less 
lazy to react to…er…more responsible for these actions, for many 
reasons which have been heavily researched by many unnamable scientists 
and experts on this field, which I lack the…er…responsibility…to cite. 
Yeah, that’s a good apology, right? Anyways, you can put the blame on 
Asa for not having the power to control time, on the whole play cast 
for association with said temporally restricted, or even the laws of 
physics for not making the events of the week and the plays themselves 
the precise times and places for all of Asa’s tasks to be done by 
random-but-powerful bursts of light to push the right buttons for him 
(see Thomas R. Meyer, who I am responsible enough to cite), but I can 
obviously be ruled out as the main culprit behind this absence because 
of the reasons I have or have not stated.
	Now that we can and will forget about this ordeal which is not my 
fault or anything, we can get on with QOT2W! Because of the lack of 
last week’s quotes, I’ll put in both weeks’ submissions to make it a 
perfect “I’m sorry that the Powers that Be didn’t indirectly result in 
a QOTW last week” number of 15. Also, it helps both of us because I’m 
too…responsible…to write an Honorable Mentions. Last week’s 
winner…er…weeks’ winner was Norton, saying “There’s your book on Jews,” 
which are now apparently classified as an ethnic group. You learn 
something new every two weeks.

	This week’s..er…oh screw it:

“Imagine impulsiveness was a cat. And then call it over—here, kitty, 
kitty—and shoot it.”
--Larry, on what a student needs to do with her drawing

“With today’s modern technology, you’d think we would be able to come 
up with something better than a roof-stick!”
--Curt, on the inconvenience of umbrellas

“Now, I’m not saying religion is in any way comparable to Jersey 
Shore, but...”
--Girl in Mario's Anthropology class
[A quick question to people like Mario who still read QOTW: Is there a 
policy on quotes by graduates and other various alumni not currently 
associated with the school? Feel free to tell us what you may know in a 
side comment then you VOTE AND SUBMIT which you should be doing 
regardless of your current setting!]

“I actually came around. At first I was just like, ‘let the children 
do what they must do,’ but now I'm like, ‘BLOCK THE CHILDREN!’”
--Ms. Dale, on school internet policy

“That's what's great about Homer. You read it and you’re like, wow, 
these are totally unrepressed people. When they’re sad, they cry, when 
they're angry, they go on a killing rampage...”
--Mr. Conolly

Ms. Jackman: “[Why am I not excited for parent-teacher conferences?] 
Here's how it works: you come in at 9:00 and then every 8 minutes a new 
parent comes in to talk to you. For 6 hours.”
Sam W.: “Like speed-dating.”

“A double bracket?  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!”
--Curt, as Mr. Paul introduces the nearest integer function notation
[[Feel free to give this submission alone 0.7 votes because it won’t 
make a difference.]]

“You’re not being a very cooperative meat puppet.”
--Matt D.

“...and that was the first slide that every set of eyes in the room 
was on! Expect more barnyard animals in the future.”
--Ms. Wasilewski, on the goose that inexplicably made its way into her 
PowerPoint


“But it's my job to soil myself!”
--Danny M., making a bit of a mess of his lines in a play rehearsal

Ms. Jackman: “I have 'an umbrella term describing individuals, 
behaviors, and groups centered around the full or partial reversal of 
gender roles'—”
Mr. Sherry: “I know, that must be 'man!'”
--GSA “gender games”

“I'm not an outie, I'm a Volvo”
--Xander on bellybuttons

“There's no phrase about 'honor among rapists.'”
--Marielle, differentiating thieves from various other criminals

“Except the pizza cannot feel fear”
--Ben Kuhn on whether Shaul or a slice of pizza was more frightened of 
the other
[Editor’s Note: In my defense, I swear the pizza was whispering my 
name to me, watching me, unblinking, with its big tomato-sauce eyes.]

Gabriel: "Great minds think alike"
Melanie: "That would imply that you’re a great mind"

	Oh man, those quotes sure are funny and such! It’s a good thing that 
they’re so funny, because you probably totally forgot about that whole 
‘missing a week’ thing, right? Ha ha, yeah, I knew you’d ask something 
like “What do you mean, ‘missing a week,’ oh Great and Intelligent 
Shaul?” because the correct response is “I meant nothing! You had QOTW 
all along! Now don’t ever mention this again!” On the other hand, I 
gave up formatting the difference between "" and '' with “” and ‘’ 
because I realized what I was doing would surely kill me with all of 
the quotation marks everywhere, so the five of you who noticed and the 
other seventy five or so who bothered looking after reading this 
sentence might be squirming in your seats right now, which is better 
because you’re too busy doing that instead of questioning my infallible 
authority on all things that I did or did not do last week.
	You can submit more quotes at http://www.qotw.net/submit.php, and 
vote by following the instructions at http://www.qotw.net/voting.php, 
which involve hitting “reply” so don’t close this yet. If you want to 
subscribe to Honorable Mentions, you simply have to send an e-mail to 
honorablementions_subscribe at qotw.net or go to 
http://www.qotw.net/subscribe.php. You can use the second link to 
recommend QOTW to your immediate friends and family who associate with 
the school, which you will absolutely want to do and should only not do 
so in the case of serious injury, or even death, and I recommend you do 
it then anyways.

--Shaul “Shaul “I’m making up for two nicknames at the same time” Vin” 
Vin