[QOTW] Quote of the Year, 2009-2010

[QOTW]

Yes, a QOTW (well, QOTY, really) email outside of school! Crazy, you may
say, but while the summer may have driven QOTW from your minds, QOTW hasn't
forgotten about you. QOTW never forgets...

First, one last piece of
business-as-usual: our last weekly winner was, somewhat appropriately, a
sen- er, graduate, Mr. Mario Alvarez: 
"Some view this award as a dubious
one, but I've found that since receiving it last year I've changed from the
most under-appreciated junior into the most overrated senior."
Overrated? I
think not. Witty, certainly, quite witty. Perhaps so full of wits that he's
managed to orchestrate this final-week win!
Anyhow, congratulations.

Now
for the big stuff.
The time has come, friends.
The year has ended.
The
weeks have had their quotes, and the readers their votes.
This can only
mean one thing: QUOTE OF THE YEAR!

There have been many weekly emails, so
there are many contestants for QOTY. Vote just as you usually do, in a
reply to this email and following these instructions [1]. I'd encourage
those of you who usually pick one or two to rank more than that, but I
don't think it'd have much effect.
Without further ado (but with much
"adieu," I suppose, at least until next year), here are all of the weekly
winners from this year!

"At first, I didn't realize that Shrek spoke with
a Scottish accent. I just thought it was a Shrek accent. Then I met a
Scottish person, and I was like, 'Why are you talking like Shrek?' And he
was really offended."
- Allie

"My door is always open... but please, make
sure before you enter that I'm not engaged in any embarrassing
activities."
- Mr. Wharton

"No, no, it's okay! The dandruff in Oreos is
harvested from free-range old men!"
- Asa

"Well, let's say you I and were
standing side by side, talking, and you had some sort of alpine pick ax.
You know, with a sort of pointy bit on one side...? And as you began to
speak, you leaned the tip on my foot, and as you continued you leaned
harder and harder until my foot was impaled on this ax! Well, there are two
things I could do at this point: I could slap you and say "ah, son of a
bitch!", or I could smile oddly at you and nod until you began to realize
that something was wrong."
- Mr. Davis explaining Hemingway

"Welcome back,
Ms. Bardsley! If anyone sees her with dark circles under her eyes and
wonders why, just ask Mr. Conolly."
- Mr. Wharton

"I was meeting with Mr.
Davis and explained to him the plot of the movie Up. Also he ate half my
lunch."
- Marielle

"Many of you have reached the exalted status of
seniors, one foot in college, and you still do not remember that the area
of a circle is pi-r-squared."
- Mr. Riahi to his Physics 2 class

"You
know--okay... look; you can't go through life like this! 'Where's your
son?' 'OH... I left him on the playground...'"
- Ms. Grant to an
particularly exasperating medieval student

"The more we read of Paradise
Lost, the more it just feels like reading fan fiction."
- Mario

"Solo leí
El Viejo y el Mar [tran.: "I only read The Old Man and the Sea], and I was
like 'Kill the freakin' fish!' It's just a fish! I don't get it..."
-
Mónica explaining her distaste for Hemingway

"You see, when I was younger,
I thought organizing was the same as alphabetizing. So when my teacher told
me my paragraph was disorganized, I just put all the words in alphabetical
order and handed it back in."
- Hannah K-H

"Mr. Davis, there's a gas leak
and we need to go outside right now!"
"Don't call me a gas leak! That's
very offensive."
- Ben Ka. and Mr. Davis

"With regard to bodily pleasures,
[Alexander] enjoyed perfect self-control."
"Maybe after he was dead!"
- a
freshman reading from a source, and Mr. Conolly

Mr. Davis: "There are many
things that your parents tell you. Stop slamming the gate. Stop torturing
that grasshopper."
Shaul: "Did your parents tell you to stop torturing
grasshoppers often?"
Mr. Davis: "Yes."
Ben Ka.: "You tortured grasshoppers,
Mr. Davis?!"
Asa: "Ben, just a couple weeks ago you were telling about how
you'd been kicking a rabbit!"
Ben: "That wasn't me, that was Maria!"
Maria:
"It's my rabbit, I can kick it if I want to!"
Ben: "Why did you kill
grasshoppers, Mr. Davis?"
Shaul: "He didn't kill them! That's immoral. He
just tortured them."
- Davis' English 10

"So if a cow is living in the
wild and... milks itself into a bucket somehow, that would be vegan."
-
Gabe Murchison

"There will be no AP question that asks: 'What was the
stain on Monica Lewinsky's blue dress? A: A McFlurry...' "
- Ms.
Haber

"Oh, Kennedy... I had a crush on him when I was five. My
kindergarten boyfriend wanted Nixon to win. That was the end of the
relationship."
- Ms. Grant

"Allie, I never thought of you as a
free-floating sexual object before."
- Ms. Bluestein on the "whale song" (A
Maritime Romance)

"He's like the captain of the lacrosse team in the
showers... the ideal of manhood."
- Ms. Grant on Michelangelo's David

"Why
would he care about who's going to be king nine--no, sixteen generations
later?
"It's a guy thing."
- Mr. Davis and Maria on Macbeth

Vote! Vote and
vote and vote some more, except not really because we only want you to vote
once and we'll notice if you vote twice.
No need to submit, as we're done
for the year. Isn't it nice to hear me say that for once?

Until next week,
when we'll unveil the Quote of the Year as well some other exciting
goodies.

Asa "really not yelling at you about submissions this time, how
cool is that?" Goodwillie and Shaul "fell asleep at sunrise"
Vin

Links:
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[1] http://www.qotw.net/voting.php
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