[QOTW] Quote Of The Week, June 6th

[QOTW]

Hello, and welcome to the oh-god-exams edition of Quote Of The Week.
Contrary to my expectations, the stress of these lovely 
examinations seems
to have left you all with more time to submit funny things. Humor as a
coping mechanism, perhaps, or 
simply an outlet for procrastination? Either
way, I'm happy to report that, in a radical departure from the norm, I
didn't quite 
have to come up with half of this week's quotations
myself.
This does not mean you get to slack off now! This email you're
reading right now is likely to be the penultimate regular weekly 
email
before we move on to some sort of Crazy Final Showdown Battle of a Quote Of
The Year flavor. Let's make the last email 
a good one, yeah? Submit here:
http://www.qotw.net/submit.php

Never mind that complimentary bit,
actually. I've just gone and actually investigated what the submissions
are. One turned out 
to be automated spam full of links to adult websites,
and one was a duplicate of another. You guys didn't provide six out of
eleven 
so much as four out of nine. Now I have to think of something
vaguely funny that I heard this week and forgot to submit.
Well, now you
_really_ don't get to slack off.

Last week's joint winners were Maria and
Mr. Davis:
"Why would he care about who's going to be king nine--no,
sixteen generations later?
"It's a guy thing."
-- Mr. Davis and Maria on
Macbeth

As we all know, Shakespeare + gender stereotypes = comedy.

This
week's set, on which you should totally vote. Do so by replying to this
email according to these easily accessed and 
simple instructions:
http://www.qotw.net/voting.php

"But Leora, your feelings are made of
iron!"
- Esther, explaining that said feelings couldn't possibly be
hurt

"Baaak. Baak. Were you ever a chicken?"
- Mr. Davis

"Some view this
award as a dubious one, but I've found that since receiving it last year
I've changed from the most under-appreciated 
junior into the most
overrated senior."
- Mario Alvarez, passing on the Burning Toilet Paper
Roll award for the most under-appreciated junior

"I'm not that
straight!"
- Miriam Selden-Stein

"You sounded like a poet there! It
worried me... Seriously! Imagine if you were all fourteen poets, trying to
read some other poet's 
stuff... you'd be using metaphors all over the
place and confusing the hell out of me."
- Mr. Davis to his section of
English 10

"Rusty did the cutest thing this morning... I mean my cat, not
Rusty."
- Mark Swanson

"Hey, guys, we're in the perfect position for a
prayer circle."
- Sam Wronoski

"You just opened a jar of crayfish. The
train is going to go over a bump or something and then there'll be crayfish
all over the floor 
and they'll crawl up people's legs and _eat their
kneecaps._
- Shaul Vin, on Rui's decision to give her crayfish some air on
the Orange line

"Are those giggling girls out there in the hallway? No
squealing, we're living in a post-feminism world!"
- Ms. Grant

"Now, all
students taking one or more SAT Subject Tests between Chen, Emily and
Leonard, Mark, will you please follow Mr. Dinardo 
down to Room 114. That's
Chen, Coolidge, Cuttingham, all of D, E, F, G, H, J... er, H, I, J, K, and
L up to Leonard."
"...and that's what you end up doing if you don't _pass_
your SATs."
- a loud and alphabetically challenged SAT staffer and a
student in the metaphorical peanut gallery

Enjoy.
Vote.
(Really.)

I know
I've said it twice already, but please do submit. Let's go out on a
hey-look-the-readers-are-actually-being-helpful note, shall we?
Thanks,
Asa
"I figured Mendeleev was a pretty cool guy- why not give him the benefit of
the doubt?" Goodwillie

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