[QOTW] Quote of the Week, April 11th

[QOTW]

Hello! Look at this, two weeks of QOTW in a row. No more vacations and we
should be just fine.

I congratulate you on giving me enough submissions, sort of. (Last time we
did that you just got lazy, so perhaps I shouldn't, but I just did and I'm
leaving it there. Please don't let it go to your collective head, though,
yeah?)
When it came to voting (the second-easiest part of your role as recipients
of this email, I've always thought, beaten only by reading the thing), you
all didn't do quite so well. Only five of you voted! This email has two
purposes, as I see it: to amuse you, and to select the funniest of the
submissions. The second doesn't really happen when you don't vote, so, uh,
please do?

Anyhow, the winner from last week's set was Hannah K-H's: “You see, when I
was younger, I thought organizing was the same as alphabetizing. So when my
teacher told me my paragraph was disorganized, I just put all the words in
alphabetical order and handed it back in.”
Confusing instructions about paragraph instructions? This sounds like
freshman year all over again.



This week's nuggets of hilarity:

"Girls in Greece don't have beauty standards as much as 'booty'
standards."
-Ms. Reyzin

"Mr. Davis, there's a gas leak and we need to go outside right now!"
"Don't call me a gas leak! That's very offensive!"
-Ben Kaufman trying to get Mr. Davis to have class outside, and Mr. Davis
responding

"At this point we have a train wreck, which is what I really wanted."
-Ms. Brewster

"Gravity worries me."
-Melanie Abrams, in geometry class

"I called my mother 'Kiddo'."
("What did you call your kids?")
"My kids? I called my kids a lot of things."
-Mr. Davis, diverted from a prolonged railing against Jesse's use of "mom"

"There is no axiom of 'mushing'."
-Mr. Sherry to a geometry student

"Don't teach her to add '-ish' to the end of everything, it's really bad
Engl..ish."
-a concerned parent

"The backwards Christians go to the Middle East and find math and yogurt."
-Ms. Bardsley on trade

"I hope someday you all will have the opportunity to order meat by mail."
-Ms. Cyrier

"It's not quite clear what this does to the dog, but he becomes one hell
of an ironist in the process."
-Mr. Davis describing dog with a human heart in a story possibly to be
read in his proposed Disquieting Fictions elective



You have my apologies for the preponderance of Davis. I try for a bit more
variety than this, but the man has an undeniable way with words, doesn't
he...

Please do vote this week! It's not too difficult, really- just reply to
this email listing your top up-to-ten choices in order. For more detailed
instructions: http://www.qotw.net/voting.php Voting closes at 5:00 PM,
supposedly, though I can't really say I'm planning on ignoring any that
come in on Saturday. Think about signing up for the Honorable Mentions
email as well, if you haven't already. Any submissions that don't make the
regular emails are collected and sent out to that list every once in a
while. Send an email to honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net if you'd like
to start receiving those emails, or go to http://www.qotw.net/subscribe.net
and put in your email and select "Honorable Mentions" and "Subscribe" only.

Most importantly: submit! Your submissions are what keep this thing
running. We've got a helpful little submission tool at
http://www.qotw.net/submit.php - just type the quote and the person who
said it into the big white box and click the "Submit" button.

I think that's just about all, then.
Enjoy, and remember to vote and submit.
-Asa "take note one from pocket one" Goodwillie