[QOTW] Quote of the Week, April 4

[QOTW]

	Dear reader, who I’ve written this e-mail for, and for no other reader
but you no matter what other people say,
	You did it! You actually have enough quotes! I have nothing more to say
to you. Now you can go to http://www.qotw.net/submit.php and make the world
an even happier place. Our winner last w-er…three weeks ago was Monica,
saying "Solo leí El Viejo y el Mar [tran.: "I only read The Old Man and the
Sea], and I was like 'Kill the freakin' fish!' It's just a fish! I don't
get it..."



“No, I said we get to cut up the genitalia too!”
--overheard on the Commuter Rail

“So they became terrorists?!”
--Ari Benkov during an Apples To Apples game, upon hearing a description
of the later period of Pink Floyd's career in which they "did stuff using
gongs, weird slide guitar, and Roman amphitheaters"

“My zipper needs an exorcism!”
--Kailash, trying to unzip his sweatshirt

“So how was Italy?”
“I have no idea Jason, I wasn't in Italy...”
--Jason and Ms. Wasilewski on spring break

“I don't see why they couldn't just put the information out there instead
of wrapping it up in that stupid plotline. It's like bad porn.”
--Eli, on a movie explaining quantum physics, to Mr. Riahi

“When you get to be my age, you'll understand how it all works”
--Ms. Grant on attracting prostitutes

“You see, when I was younger, I thought organizing was the same as
alphabetizing. So when my teacher told me my paragraph was disorganized, I
just put all the words in alphabetical order and handed it back in.”
--Hannah K-H

“Wouldn't it make more sense if your socks were wool and your feet were
plastic?!”
--Layla Muchnik-Benali

“If I were a Marxist, say... I might be a Marxist, you don't really, do
you? My father was a Marxist.” [“Really?!”] “No. No, not at all. But let's
say he was...”
--Mr. Davis, embarking on a strange tangent that eventually related to
Great Expectations

“You can't go out to lunch with lesbians?!”
-Eloise to Kailash



We have some post-submission quotes from the last few weeks that were too
old to be used as substitute submissions despite our lack thereof, but you
can still find them if you subscribe to Honorable Mentions, the
underappreciated younger brother of QOTW who never did anything with his
life and whose parents think is a loser, by e-mailing
honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net. Voting ends at 5:00 on Friday,
submissions are due the moment you hear something you think is even
remotely funny to people who are not you. Have a nice rest of the weekend,
and watch out for meteors.

--Shaul “Insomnia, thy name is Dwarf Fortress” Vin