[QOTW] Quote of the Week, April 18

[QOTW]

QOTW,
	I found a trend recently that looks something like this: I posted QOTW on
February 14, and all was well while we slowly removed the four month
surplus of quotes we had. Asa, though, barely got any submissions and had
to singlehandedly submit nearly -all- of the quotes—a task which I cannot
do for reasons unknown and having –nothing- to do with laziness. My e-mail
to you all the next week was a congratulation to you on Asa hitting a
sensitive spot and having you finally submit a substantial amount, and from
what I remember, we actually got an Honorable Mentions e-mail of
significant size sent that day. But this doesn’t have anything to do with
who is sending the quotes. The week after, because of Tech Week and the
Spanish exchange, it was more convenient for Asa and me to switch weeks.
That day we barely hit the minimum (several minutes before I sent the
e-mail), and after I yelled a little, Asa had sufficient quotes and did not
yell, leading to –another- message from Asa with sufficient quotes, and you
can see the trend, which ultimately brings us to today. How many
submissions did we get today, after three weeks without so much a word on
how your quoting is insufficient? Seven.
	That’s right. Seven. If you look at our past messages, they all contained
ten quotes. That’s the standard which we want the e-mail to have, the bar
that was set for QOTW (after Asa’s comments, though, we had 15 votes,
though), but you barely did half of that job. Now, considering this trend
which I see, a message has insufficient quotes, causing the quoter to rant
at you all, causing quotes to pile in, making quoter 2 congratulate you on
following through, causing the process to repeat once you don’t feel
guilty. Now, it could be something other than a combination of guilt,
laziness, and forgetfulness. I mean, for example, maybe the –entire school-
various parents have set some rule on Internet use so that you can use it
as much as you want one week and cannot use it at all the week after. I’m
fully unaware of this, but if your inability to perform a simple, almost
menial task that takes less than a minute is because of forces beyond your
control, then please disregard everything that I said so far.
Now, I could just ask Asa whether we should both rant at you –all- the
time and hope the constant pressuring will actually accomplish something,
but I would generally assume that you enjoy these paragraphs (read: this
paragraph. I just wrote an essay for you guys, and I’m really sorry about
that) being short and witty, emphasis on the short, and to get right to the
quotes. I’m going to stop this now and hope that this was actually a
productive e-mail. If you want to show that you can help us run this,
please submit at http://qotw.net/submit.php. Like, actually submitting this
time. The winner of last week’s e-mail is Mr. Davis and Ben Kaufman, saying
“Mr. Davis, there’s a gas leak and we need to go outside right now!” to
which Mr. Davis responded, “Don’t call me a gas leak! That’s very
offensive.” 

This week’s quotes are:

“I realized last night that I can sum up Brimmer academics with one
question from my 6th grade history test:
Q: What does “AD” stand for?
a: Anno Domini 
b: Andrew's Dominoes”
--Julia Kelly

“I feel like that's more of an incentive to be close to God, not going to
heaven!”
--Skye, on getting 72 Virgins

“Sorry, I was being patriotic and lost track of time.”
--Ben Kaufman, returning to school from the Tea Party rally on the Common
ten minutes late for Mr. Davis' English class

“Stop distracting me, you hot high school girls!”
--Hannah K. H.

“If you show me your buboes, I might be able to cure you.”
--Ms. Grant, when discussing how women in Medieval Europe would abandon
their modesty if male doctors could save them from the Black Death

“Someone needs to give the guy a Britney Spears CD.”
--Hannah K-H, on the pretentious musical tastes of a peer

[Student reading aloud from the Alexander the Great book]: “With regard to
bodily pleasures, [Alexander] enjoyed perfect self-control...”
[Mr. Conolly]: “Maybe after he was dead!”



Now, following this trend, after Asa told you all to vote last week, which
you did do, you will not vote at all this week, so I’d just like to remind
you to do so by replying to this e-mail or going to
http://qotw.net/voting.php. Voting ends at 5:00 PM on Friday, and
submissions continue until the e-mail is sent, which doesn’t matter because
you should then submit it for the week after. If you want to see quotes
that had to be cut because we had a surplus, subscribe to Honorable
Mentions by sending an e-mail to Honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net or
check http://qotw.net/subscribe.php, though at this rate you might never
see anything come from that e-mail for years. I apologize for all of this,
and it might just be the very routine sleeplessness, but I’m very tired of
(while?) ranting about this again and again, and if you don’t submit, I
will fill in the quotes with things I think up on the spot. That, of
course, is a punishment. ‘Why,’ you might ask? BECAUSE ALL OF THOSE QUOTES
WILL BE PUNS.

--Shaul “1:00 AM Danielewski reading always ends with 3:00 AM Danielewski
reading” Vin