[QOTW] UNCENSORED! November 10, 2008 UNCENSORED!

[QOTW]

Hello there.
This is not your average QOTW. Did I mention it was UNCENSORED? I  
should have; it's UNCENSORED. This is a QOTW full of questionable  
content. It features quotes about all manner of dirty things. If you  
are in possession of a sensitive mind, a young mind, or are near  
someone of this sort, be careful. Please step back from the computer,  
and perhaps even shut it down. Seriously, this is corrupting stuff. It  
only gets worse from here... really. Gone yet? Honestly, these really  
aren't even all that funny. You're not missing anything. Shoo...

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Well that was easy. So, if you possess the immature mind of many a  
Commonwealth student, read on in disgusting anticipation of the dirty,  
dirty quotes to come (heh, he said "come"). I suggest you not vote on  
these, because then people will know you actually read this email.  
Plus, I'm far too lazy to count out all the votes for something like  
this. I hope this is an enjoyable email. It's really, really huge  
(heh, that's what she said...)

Read:

"Shakespeare could have been a pimp. Can you imagine the ass he would  
haul after a show?!"
-Gautam on William S.

"Why would anyone care about cutting part of your forehead?"
-Marielle Boudreau, referring to circumcising foreskin.

"Tickle Danny! Get him off!"
-Gautam on the couch

"You know what suck? Wet dreams. All the messiness of masturbation  
without any of the fun."
-Ian Strickman

"In Hebrew, there are 30 different words for her breasts."
-Emma BW

"No. You can't handle my hardware."
-Gautam (who followed this up with a sketchy eyebrow movement)

"We were Ian-Tenney-nipple-virgins!"
-Emma BW

"My imagination was ruined by TV and porn."
-Ian Strictman

"You don't even have a sabre for him to suck on!"
-Leora, yelling at Kate about fencing porn

"What if the length of people's flies corresponded to the length of  
their penises?"
-Emma BW

"You poor bastard. That's all I can say."
-Mr. Davis on John Atkins' claiming to have four mothers.

"'Of course!' you say 'The man is seeking to copulate with the  
original cat!' They're big on cat-copulation in Italy."
-Mr. Davis (on Cat in the Rain)

"Okra are far too unappetizing to be penises."
-Hannah K-H

"I dunno, do monks spark your brawl? I bet they're 'smiling for Cox'.  
Some monks are like that."
-Dan Fries and Ian Strickman on oddly written Metro stories

"I use my hands when I'm teaching freshmen... you don't wanna know."
-Mr. Conolly on oration techniques

"So wait... humans can breed with non-humans? ...Cause that's  
disgusting."
-Robin on Spock being half-human

"They thought women were irrational because their blood flowed to  
their uterus instead of their brain..." "That's really ironic!"
-Ms. Bardsley and Julia Vrtilek (Apparently, Ms. Bardsley had been  
waiting years for someone to point that out.)
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