[QOTW] Quote of the Week, May 29, 2005

[Quote of the Week]

QOTW Members:

The 2004-05 schoolyear is rapidly collapsing in on itself.  Quote of the
Week, in contrast, is far from collapsing; like a lighthouse on a sea of
senioritis, QOTW shines on until the end.

Last week voters weighed the relative comedic merits of mistaking Gandhi
for a Disney character, revolutionary rhetoric about babies, and a cheap
joke at my expense.  Guess which they chose?  The winner was: "I like my
men like I like my coffee: strong and black.  Wait..." -Hilary Johnson,
who is dating Ben Orlin.

QOTW is all about audience participation--now more than ever.  Next year
the seniors will be gone, removed from the QOTW equation; the time is now
for underclassmen to rise to the occasion.  Cast your votes, submit funny
quotes (at www.qotw.net), and if you're up for the challenge, email this
address to ask about becoming Quoter of the Week.

There were enough funny quotes this week to fill three emails; all the
excess can be found in the highly-regarded Honorable Mentions email. 
Subscribe by sending a message to honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net.

And now, the quotes:

"It's like, if I can put this pack of cards in order, my life will be in
order." -Joanna Rifkin, on procrastinating by playing FreeCell

"Hey, stop talking!  I'm talking.  I may be talking about irrelevant
things, but it's my time to do that." -Ms. Jackman, trying to tell a story
at the start of Chemistry class

"Politicians just make everything worse.  They should be shot.  And don't
quote me on that." -Mr. Racioppi

"Ms. Bluestein is a badass.  And when you accumulate enough badass points,
you become a priest." -Becca Thal, accounting for Ms. Bluestein's
officiating at weddings

"I was thinking, 'Wouldn't it be cool if Halloween was on Friday the
13th?'  And then I realized..." -Nate Phinisee

"He's obviously been getting a lot of good meals at home.  I've been
trying to keep him small with a diet of black coffee and cigarettes."
-Mark White, jazz band leader, on Nathan Kholenberg and his growth spurt
in the past year

"I think it's immoral for my grandparents to tell me I'm their favorite
granddaughter and send me money.  Wow, that's a pretty selfless thing to
say.  I'm approaching the selfless Buddhist ideal." -Kate Alper

"Multiple response!  No, free choice!" -Josh Haselkorn, asked to choose
between multiple choice and free response

"I wish I were a snowflake, I wish I were a raindrop, I wish I were a
green leaf, swaying in the wind..." -Mr. Riahi, trying to get Kate Alper's
attention in class

"Roswell, tonight let's shave your legs.  Other mothers get to cornrow
their daughter's hair; I get to shave my son's legs." -Roswell Thomas'
mother

Voting closes at 5:00 p.m. on Friday, June 3, 2005.  (God, that's a scary
date.  Do you realize graduation is June 10?)

And really, you should sign up for Honorable Mentions
(honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net).  In quote-alicious weeks like
this, it's way funnier than the normal QOTW email, thanks to the dominance
of quantity over quality.

-Ben "you're an incremental rapist" Orlin

P.S.  If you want to unsubscribe, send an email to
quoteoftheweek-unsubscribe at qotw.net.  But why would you want to do that?