[QOTW] QOTW

[Quote of the Week]

Hello Quoters!

This week’s winner was Harry Alper who put to words what we’ve all been
feeling. Reading his quote however, "You know what College Board is? 
They're trolls under the bridge to success,” I can’t help but think how
strange it is coming from him. I mean Harry is a sophmore right? Actually
I’m not sure, maybe he’s a junior. But if he is a sophmore, as I suspect,
why is he complaining about the College Board? Anyway, just an
observation.

Now to get down to business. Borlin was ragging on me all week to pull
myself together and quote. Did I? Well by Friday I had a couple things
written down but I was, for the most part, the lamest Quoter ever. Rather
than looking forward to flabbergastingly hilarious quotes, therefore, I
want you to look forward to the next week, so you don’t become too
disappointed
in me
. and my lame-ass quotes.

Next week the forecast is: Monday high 58, Tuesday high 67, Wednesday high
70, Thursday high 70, and Friday low 80s. That means by Friday you can
come to school in flip-flops, Hawaiian shorts, and one of those sexy wife
beaters. Next week there are exactly 20 days of school left. That means
you can start making hash marks on your arm in pen during English class
and begin thinking about all the really fun things you could
hypothetically do over the summer. Next week is the last full week of
school. I believe that speaks for itself. And, last but not least, by the
end of next week we will all be closer to age 21 when we can drink, smoke,
vote, buy porn, enlist, invest in the stock market, and have control over
whatever money we have been able to amass through our summer jobs; and in
Canada and Amsterdam we will be able to smoke pot and become prostitutes.
If that doesn’t sound like the best week ever I don’t know what does.

I know what you’re thinking because I can, contrary to popular belief,
read minds. You’re thinking “How can she possible relate becoming a
Canadian hooker back to Quote of the Week?” Well fear not, the connection
is actually rather obvious. Canada is like France and the new French
teacher, Fadila, is from France, and she had some very funny things to say
and her quotes are now in this quote of the week email. Though it is
generally cruel to quote non native speakers, as you will see, Fadila’s
quote cannot be misconstrued. It has a pretty clear meaning that she in
fact repeated to make especially clear. But lets give her some slack
because she’s new and because what she said is pretty harsh, and French.

With that and much more said, here are this week’s nominees:

“If you know who the teacher is you should kill them. You should push them
down the stairs and kill them.”
-Fadila, convincing her students to murder the teacher who came up with
the French1 curriculum that includes the reading of really sappy lectures.

"It's warm because of my love for English, not because I just printed it."
-Ben Copans, handing in an English essay


"Girls?  They aren't good playmates at all.  They crumple and stuff when
you jump on them and then they won't talk to you."
 -Norris Wong

"My memories are like fish.  When you try to get them they run away."
-Julian Hyde

"This is a standardized test.  I want standardized behavior."
 -Mr. Davis, overseeing AP registration

"It's been such a long time!  You used to draw these in your sleep, and
now you sleep while I draw them."
-Mr. Sherry, reviewing first-semester material with a tired Economics class

'She's not a beatnik--she's a lawyer!'
-Ben Hirsch, on Ms Nesson wearing all black

"You get paid a LOT of money.  Well, maybe not a lot of money, but minimum
wage anyway."
-Janetta Stringfellow, trying to enlist students to work during Alumni
Weekend

And simply because we’ve all been wondering what Roz has been up to:

"Dear Diary: Today I found my old cyclocross scar. I'd thought it healed!
Turns out I was just looking at the wrong side of my butt. Or maybe this
is just a
bed sore ... further reflection on this a high priority."
-Roswell, on his day at home under the weather

And one more, which shouldn't be a nominee, but what would QOTW be without
poking some fun at Madame Whartona:

"Please reserve your intimate behavior for the bushes."
 -Mr. Wharton, on couples cuddling in public

Don’t be a freeloader. Vote by 5 PM on Saturday.

--“The Crusher” a.k.a. Cheesecake