[QOTW] Quote of the Week, March 20 2005

[Quote of the Week]

Ladies and gentlemen,

Last week, the voters chose four quotes to advance to the QOTY finals:
namely, those by Garrison Inge, Joanna Rifkin, Norris Wong, and Ms.
Jackman (on carbon-dating).

As you are probably aware, it is currently spring break at Commonwealth. 
This is a period marked by melting snow, a conspicuous lack of homework
from Mr. Sherry, college basketball on television, and a dearth of
worthwhile quotes.  Rather than force upon you a half-baked batch of
nominees, QOTW has instead opted to rerun some of the Honorable Mentions
email from September 12, 2004, in the hopes of inspiring you to sign up
for the HM list (by sending a message to
honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net).

HONORABLE MENTIONS FROM SEPTEMBER 12, 2004

"It doesn't even introduct itself.  Introduce itself." -Becky Lis, on a
paragraph in English class

"I am unique.  Just like everybody else." -Norris Wong

"Who told you that story?  Was it me?  Oh." -Olivia, after hitting Ben
Miller for making a lewd allusion to her past

"From here, I can see all the way out to Commonwealth Ave, and they can
probably see all the way in... but if you do get chemicals on you, I'll
make you stand here and strip down to your bra and kickers, or if you
don't wear a bra, just your knickers." -Ms. Jackman, on the emergency
shower in the Chemistry lab for washing off hazardous chemicals

"Heroin: the rich man's antidepressant." -Micheline Heal

"Which do you think I should use: 'Millaah' or 'I eat schmen'?" -Ben
Miller, editing his nametag to include a nickname

"God is in the box, God likes to be in the box... it would be completely
immoral to leave God in the box." -A PM trying to argue the "God in a Box"
case

"Man, those hydrogen bonds blow you out of the water." -Ben Orlin, just
after playing basketball, claiming that it was Chemistry class that had
left him so sweaty and exhausted

"Everybody loves a well-made syllabub.  Really!  It's lovely and sweet and
so very mm.  Well, maybe the lactose-intolerant don't love syllabub so
very much." -Andrea.  Syllabub consists almost entirely of milk.

"I think I could survive saying just feh, meh, and bleh to the majority of
American English speakers without getting so much as an odd look."
-Micheline Heal

"It has some similar properties.  Such as fanatical devotion, revered
leaders, dogma, suicide bombers, that sort of thing." -Jeff Kaufman, on
Linux being like a religion

"It's amazing how perseverance can win over a 56k connection." -Norris
Wong, on Micheline Heal designing a web site despite a slow internet
connection

"When you have to say things like, 'At least it's better than Pig Latin,'
you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel." -Julian Hyde, on the
assertion that it's harder to rhyme in Spanish than in Pig Latin

"Last time I taught this course, the students thought it was fun.  They
moaned and groaned and complained, but they thought it was fun.  Except
for one or two, but I don't care about them." -Mr. Racioppi, on teaching
Environmental Biology

"If I find you using degrees [in this course], I will be very mean to you.
 I can't beat you... I'll tell someone else to beat you." -Mr. Riahi,
Applied Calculus teacher

"For recess cleanup, there is a captain, pro forma, but since there are
only two of you, if you can't work out your problems..." -Mr. Conolly, on
the new Commonwealth jobs program, where each crew has designated captains

"I bet all those pre-teen girls who watched men's gymnastics are hungry
for a Hamm sandwich." -Micheline Heal, on gold-medal gymnast Paul Hamm

There is, of course, no voting this week, so don't bother sending in your
ballots.  If you wish, for some perverse reason, to unsubscribe from
either QOTW or Honorable Mentions, send an email to
quoteoftheweek-unsubscribe at qotw.net or
honorablementions-unsubscribe at qotw.net.

-Ben "hippo krit" Orlin