[QOTW] The 2005 Quote of the Year Championship

[Quote of the Week]

QOTW Members:

This is the end of Quote of the Week's glorious fourth season, which
featured 838 quotes from nearly 250 different people.  QOTW applauds and
thanks everyone who contributed this year--Quoters, voters, and all you
free-loaders.

Now I ask of you this one last thing: choose the best quote of them all. 
In an exhaustive year-long process, you have selected the 12 finalists
which appear below.  Now, by listing your favorite quotes in order, you
can help decide once and for all which shall be crowned champion. 
Everyone should vote this week.  (Yes, that includes you.)  This is The
Most Important Election of Our Generation.  Don't let your opinion go
unheard.

THE QUOTE OF THE YEAR NOMINEES

"Please move into the car, people. There is plenty of room if you push and
shove." -MBTA Conductor

"Single-ply toilet paper in the admissions office: that's how you know
it's a safety school." -Becca Thal's mother

"I have been working on one particular integral for the past two weeks and
I cannot solve it. Well no, I can solve it, but using the gamma
substitution and... it's like you see a fly on the wall and kill it with a
bazooka." -Mr. Riahi

"Commonwealth is like Hogwarts after Harry Potter graduates: just a bunch
of characters that no one cares about." -Julian Hyde

"They're all dead because they missed the ark.  Or because two gay
unicorns boarded the ark.  But that would be blaming the gay community."
-Norris Wong, on the disappearance of unicorns

"Man... sometimes I wonder how Commonwealth collectively deals with the
fact that we all have friends who give advice like, 'You should do it. 
Because it would make me laugh.'" -Joanna Rifkin

"It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside--like I just swallowed a
hamster." -Garrison Inge

"What other information is useful for carbon-dating something?  Say you
found my body and you wanted to date it somehow... oh God, that came out
wrong." -Ms. Jackman

"What will happen will be this large class moving through the school, the
way I see it, like a rat moves through a snake." -Mr. Wharton, on the
incoming freshmen class of 44 students

"You know what College Board is? They're trolls under the bridge to success."
-Harry Alper

"I wish I were a snowflake, I wish I were a raindrop, I wish I were a
green leaf, swaying in the wind..." -Mr. Riahi, trying to get Kate Alper's
attention in class

"A graduation speech is like ice cream--a tasteful combination of mush and
not mush." -Liz Weisman

Voting closes at 11:59 pm on Friday, July 1.  The Quote of the Year, the
Most Quoteable Person of the Year, and other awards will be announced in a
raucous AOL Instant Messenger chatroom ceremony at 8:00 pm on Saturday,
July 2.  Send a message to QuoterOfTheWeek to be invited.

-Ben "vote, or forfeit your democratic right to complain about the result"
Orlin