[QOTW] Quote of the Year Championship

[Quote of the Week]

Voters:

These quotes need no introduction.  But I'm not going to let that stop me.

Quote of the Week has been one glorious mess of an empire this year. 
We've had moments of brilliance, and moments of shame.  Under the new
Quoter system, control has fallen to modern-day heroes like Andrea Lam,
nefarious villains like Roswell Thomas, and even, on one unforgettable
occasion, Saddam "Matt Kraning" Hussein.  It has been a year of absurdity,
mayhem, and good quotes.  My heartfelt congratulations go out to all QOTW
participants, young and old, big and small, Commonwealth student and human
being alike.

Now, here are the ten quotes to end all quotes.  The esteemed voting body
has spoken, and has chosen its favorites.  From this elite group of ten,
one victorious miracle of a quote will emerge.  Voters, this is the
culmination of the last fifty-two weeks.  Your participation is essential.
 View it as your civic duty: imagine that the other voters are incurably
stupid (it shouldn't strain your imagination too much), and you, as the
only intelligent voice, must exercise your will upon the people, for their
own good.  Don't let them crown an undeserving winner!  Vote for a better
quote!

To vote, simply list as many (or as few) of the quotes as you wish, in
order of favorite to least favorite.  Then send your ballot back to us for
processing.

And now, without further ado, the Quote of the Year Finalists:

"I want it to be unclear whether I intend to liberate Josh or eliminate
his cost." -Julian Hyde, on his "Free Josh" sign

"This yogurt was so good, if I were a smoker, I'd need a cigarette."
-Johan Jaenisch

"We could be Hell's Mermaids." -Roswell Thomas, proposing a name for a
Commonwealth biker-gang

"I am thankful for the opportunity to express my individuality with one
500-word essay and a plethora of standardized tests." -Anonymous
Commonwealth Student, for the Thanksgiving Assembly

"You know how it says 'Congress(TM)' nowadays?  That's because Congress is
a licensed subsidiary of Disney Corporation." -Julian Hyde

"I say, any school that won't take my baby should be firebombed.  Harvard?
 Pow!  Yale?  Pow!  Then nobody will have a degree that competes with my
baby's." -Becca Thal's mom

"You poser.  You're like the N*SYNC of slacking off.  Completely
commercial.  Doing it for looks.  Sure, all the teen girls idolize you. 
But you're not living it." -Roswell Thomas, arguing that there's more to
procrastination than meets the eye

"Sex ed teachers always acted as if we were about to go out and have hot
passionate sex with every third person we met, and for Christ's sake could
we at least remember to bring along the condoms?  But in reality, we've
just ended up a generation of sexually incompetent people who are really
good at putting condoms on bananas." -Becca Thal

"I would suggest that after months and years of pointing to the
obvious--signaling to the elephant in the middle of the living room--and
turning over backwards to keep a constructive ethical tone while observing
others who use guerilla warfare to score, one feels the need to stand in
the middle of the road and loudly state that the proverbial king has no
clothes on!" -Lydia Rivera-Abrams, in an editorial in the Winchester Star

"I forgot Mother's Day, so I made repentant French toast.  It tasted of
guilt." -Becca Thal

Voting closes abruptly at 5:00 pm on Friday.  Although if you have a witty
excuse for your tardiness, I'll be more inclined to count a late ballot.

-Ben "Quote of the Week awards ceremony next week on AOL Instant
Messenger!" Orlin