[QOTW] Honorable Mentions, April 26th

[QOTW]

Welcome to Honorable Mentions, home of all that is either not quite funny
enough to make it into the regular email, not quite offensive enough to be
banished to the "for uncensored" folder, or simply mediocre.
You have been
warned.
Proceed with caution and low expectations.

"Here is a Kailash, and
here are some parents..."
-Asa Goodwillie, trying to figure out family
trees and relationships

"Just go sit in a tree!"
-Asa Goodwillie, on how
to study for the Biology SATII

"DAMN YOU SON, WE AREN'T INSULTING NH
ANYMORE
HELLO! WELCOME TO THE BLOODY PRESENT...
JEEZ! New Haphsirites,
don't even know what they're talking about... lousy New Hampshirites,
Jesus, what are they thinking?... can't even come to school healthy, those
New Hapshirites, 
(mock voice) "Oh looky at me! I'm from New Hampshire and
I have lunch with my bigshot politicians who live a mile away!
HAHA!"
AWWWWWWW, THE CUTESY WOOTSY NEW HAMPSHIRITES WANT LUNCH WITH PEOPLE
WHO ARE OH SO FAMOUS!!! AWWWW! Lousy New Hampshirites doing crazy things...
hiding behind politicians,
lousy New Hamphsirites... how do they help the
motherland with having such a sparse population???
Lousy New
Hampshirites...."
-Tahmid Rahman, on residents of New Hampshire and Thomas
Lucic's praise for them

"NOTE TO THOMAS:
1. You fail
2. Learn to use the
internet
3. Stop discriminateing people based on their culture or I might
as well start calling a NAZI
4. No one likes New Hampshire because it is
the same shape as Vermont and who are we kidding, we only need one state
like that and since Vermont has maple syrup I think they win.
5. New
Hampshire government has no money because of your lack of taxes. Say goodby
to education (homeschooled!), Police, Firefighters, courts, state
legislature (including those wildlife resurves). Oh, and by the way having
no government is also called TOTAL F---ING ANARCHY. If you want a better
discription then that, go look at Congo (and no, you don't have that many
guns in your state: see
http://consumerist.com/2010/04/epic-map-of-the-us-pizza-vs-guns-vs-strippers.html
)
6. I need to do my homework now, so please write a five paragraph essay
on why my points are "wrong" and send it to me to get a reply in kind; or
at least a lot of anotations on your essay.
I NOW HAVE TO DO WORK IN ALL
CAPS!!!!"
-Gabe Seltzer, in response to Thomas Lucic's praise for New
Hampshire

"His name is Noel because his mom is a 'Super Christian'
person."
"Well, the fact that his mom is a 'Super Christian' person is
really wrong in the FIRST PLACE!!"
-Ben Kim and Helen Mayer

"HIV is not a
life threatening disease anymore..."
Elton John, in American Idol

"Marison
es muy--" ("Melanie is very")
"¡Loco!" ("Crazy!")
"¡Si!"
("Right!")
-Gabriel, Shira, and Gabriel again, playing a charades game
where the word can only be described in Spanish

"Oh, I'm not a dog. I
forgot."
-Mr. Davis

"My friend is what would appear if you stuck Oliver
and Gabe together and implanted them into a korean woman with a dirty
mind..."
-Ben Kim, on a certain "friend"

"I wouldn't put that there, I
think it's a bit... sticky."
-Ms. Mechaber, regarding the condomized banana
resting on Tahmid's notes

"I just don't see Tom Selleck as a waterfall
guy."
-Alum's reaction to the news of a Tom
Selleck/Moustache/Sandwich/Waterfall Appreciation site

"I wish I had a
mind like a steel trap."
"But then nothing would come out!"
-Jessie Brown
and Mel Fitzpatrick
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