[QOTW] Honorable Mentions February 20, 2005

[Quote of the Week]

Aren’t you all the luckiest qotw readers! Yes you are! Yes you are!

“I don’t believe in abortion until I ride the orange line.” – Lora
Tamagini, flaming Catholic

“I believe in mandatory legalized sterilization.” – Lora Tamagini on her
beliefs about abortion

“I was just
blown away.” – Chao, after falling

“When I open up my e-mail to find 20 new messages only to discover that
they’re all from colleges in the middle of nowhere, I do not feel loved. I
feel deserted. And neglected.” – Irene

"I was leaving for Iraq the next day, so I had to sneak out of the
compound to go tell Garthur, because the baby was his. So I told him, and
he drank himself into a stupor." - Julie Baker, recounting a dream

"Of all the low-down, no-good, mother-stabbin', father-rapin' puns in
Paradise Lost, the 'fallacious fruit' is by far the most subtly, blatantly
awful.  And I'm an expert in the field." - Ben Miller

"It sounds a lot less bad-ass to say 'when the potent rod of Amram's son
(Moses) in Egypt's evil day call up a pitchy cloud of
' grasshoppers." -
The Puntificator of Plagues (Miller), eloquently combining E-Bio
revelations (grasshoppers and locusts are one and the same) and John
Milton's sense of drama on a biblical scale

"Babies can fold up into anything.  They're the ultimate travel
companions." - Jenn Orlin, on infants' flexibility

"Jose is the type of name that you can say, 'Jose, you light my fire.' But
with Joe, it's, 'Joe, you drive my truck.'" - Cameron Russell

"At least french existentialism has a flare for sex. German existentialism
is just depressing." - Alex George's Mom

“It’s all just an attempt to make us think that [Conservative Christians]
are more crazy than they actually are.” – Alex, on the comic book
character ‘Bible Man’

“I don’t get Valentine’s day. What’s so romantic about people gaining
weight?” – Greta

“Our lines extend beyond lines. They’re epic poems.” – Jenny, on the
chorus music

“You never know what’s going on. It could be a friendly conversation, it
could be drug dealing.” – Eric Brotman

“Life is not a poorly written comedy. It’s a tragedy of epic proportions.”
– Julian

“That’s what you should base your essay on! That ‘pheasantine’ sound like
‘Palestine’!” – Dewey

And for your conversational pleasure:

Mr. Harsanyi: "Trivia question: what game was known as the Persian game of
kings?"
Micheline: "Shah-ffleboard?"

“You’re raping the planet, Jack.” – Eric Hanns, on the number of handouts
during music theory.
“Everyone needs a hobby, right?” – Mr. Phillips

“You could strip and have people stick quotes in your underpants!” –
Joanna, to me, suggesting how to collect more quotes
“Are you suggesting the Micheline become the QOTW exotic dancer?” – Olivia
(hey, I’m already the webmistress and you’re a very bad web browser
)

- Micheline “machuzene vaseline gasoline squeaky-clean” Heal