[QOTW] Julian Hyde Memorial HMs

[Quote of the Week]

Welcome quoters to the Julian Hyde Memorial Honerable Mentions.  Before we
begin I'd like to say a few words:
"Julian has always been a good friend, and a great quotee.  Many Honerable
Mentions E-Mails would have been stark and bare without his input, and
many the hour is it that all of us have sat and chuckled at his
witticsims, but those times are gone, and for that, I am deeply sorry."
Julian: I'm not dead you jerk!
"Yes, he will be deerly missed.  Without any more todo, the quotes:"
                                                                           “I
have
an
eye
problem...
I
can't
"see"
coming
into
work
today.”-Bill
Leonard
"It's never nice to tell someone they're not invited, even if it is to a
dogfight."-Roswell's mom
“I've got a butt light and stuff so cars can see me

Butt light: Same great taste, half the carbs of Miller."-Roswell Thomas,
on having a light for his bike so he can bike at night
 “If I tell you the history of the medieval city state, that is
informative, but it’s not very helpful if you asked what one plus one
is.”-Julian
“Spain sort of found an empire. It’s like, ‘Look! It’s a continent!’”-Julian
“You just want medals.”-Johan to Donna after she asked to have his babies
“We’re not overly-competitive
 we’re [just] intellectual snobs.”- Fiona,
on Commies
“I like history teachers with beards and children named Sammy.”-Donna
 “So the only way to find enlightenment is if you trip over it.”-Teddy,
summarizing a class discussion
“I can feel my hair discharging into the light.”-Reilly
 “I fuck him! I fuck him!”-French exchange student attempting to express
displeasure with a rude French-o-phobe
 “Are you familiar with ze French Kiss?”-French exchange student
“[Putting my hand down your sock] is not obscene. Grabbing your underwear,
which is showing, would be.”-Reilly to Joanna
“I’d like a phrenology analysis.”-Alex G.
“Whenever I feel bad I eat one and am transported to a happy
place.”-Dewey, ostensibly on M+Ms
“You have to wear your own sweatshirt in life.”-Josh’s Mother
“I’ve never said anything any thing I regret.”-Julian
“I know that two thirds of you are practically tenors.”-Ms Deselms,
insulting the basses
“Justin Timberlake was a coke agent.”-Julian
“Not the graph!  Anything but the graph!”-Reilly
“It’s a very kinky demand curve, the kind you don’t take home to your
mother.”-Julian on a ‘kinked’ demand curve in economics
“They are the buttocks of the revolution, because they support the
rest.”-Wesley, quoting Mao
 “Yes I am!  I’m wearing tights!”-Joanna, responding to accusations that
she was not, in fact, a member of the British Royal Navy
 “Do you intend to kill the president?  Were you involved in genocide? 
Were you involved in war crimes?  Are you, or do you intend to become, a
prostitute?”-Frederique, enumerating the questions she had to answer to
become a permenant resident in the US
“You have not lived until you have heard a French accented person read
‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas.’”-Ms. Bluestein
“Truth is booty, booty truth.”-Josh’s father, passing down words of wisdom
to his son
 “All great Plots start with chlorophorm.”-Alex
“Oatmeal cookies are like chocolate chip cookies’ evil twin.”-Julian
“You gave me your baby to take to debate and I left it in my backpack for
hours.”-Joanna
“That would be the most dysfunctional household ever.”-Alex Logan, on a
marriage between Masha and Poulod
“There are some things that aught never be thought.”-Mr. Davis, on the same
“[But if stars are metaphors] aren’t all stars eventually sucked into
black holes?”-Lilly
“Shakespeare’s characters are pancakes!”-Julian, diving into such a black
hole
“They’re the best romantic comedy ever made.”-Jenny O., defending the
second and third Matrix movies (the Matrices)
 “What are you talking about? Freshmen?”-Reilly, stumbling into a
conversation about Satan in ‘Paradise Lost’
“If I was your mother, and you took him home to mother, I’d say, ‘Yes,
marry him.’”-Julian, on a hot anime guy