[QOTW] I came, I saw, I quoted

[QOTW]

Hey everyone,
QOTW has made its glorious return! For all y'all clueless freshmen 
...read the email I sent out.  All clueless sophomores and upperclassmen 
are advised to read the email, too.

We are pleased to announce the formation of a most radiant new 
Triumvirate to govern the QOTW empire, hopefully with less blood and 
deception than previous triumvirates in history.  Chris "Fooch" 
Maffucci-Fitanides is Quote Dictator for Life, Wilder "Sulla" Perkins 
will be Mailing List Princep and Jake Rast will be Tribune of Honorable 
Mentions.   Basically, the plan is for those three people to trade off 
running QOTW between weeks so we can devote more people to sending QOTW 
frequently.
Jake Rast has expressed reservations about this, so he might end up 
fleeing with his army to Gaul.

The winner of the last edition was an anonymous quoter who said: 
"LaCroix tastes like if someone ate a fruit salad then burped in your 
sparkling water."  Gotta agree with you there, anonymous dude.

QUOTES:
We received an excess of submissions about harm to and from babies as 
well as early Christianity:

1. “No Fear Shakespeare is like opioids” —Ms. Brewster

2. “Like, if you got in a fistfight with a baby, the baby would lose.” 
—Mr. Kerner

3. “Little babies can kill you if you choke on them.” —Alëna

4. “Sometimes in the mornings I just want to wake up and put on clothes” 
—Markus Tran

5. “Calculators are like some students, they don't know anything, but 
can still spit out an answer.” —Mr. Sherry

6. "Have y’all heard of CBT" —Ms. Dale

7. Vivian: Feminism’s meeting in…
  Avery Mangum: WHERE?!?!?!
  Kate: IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!

8. “Amen is the Christian version of snapping” -Anonymous

9. “An abbot shouldn’t tell you to have sex, and I don’t think Mr. 
Wharton would ever tell you to have sex.”-Ms, Grant

10. Mr. Perez: What were those famous words Jesus said while up on the 
cross?
     Michael: "Ow"?

Your Quotemaster
Chris "Totally not planning to assassinate the other triumvirate 
members" MF


DEBES IN SUFFRAGIUM EX HAC SEPTIMANA QUOTES