[QOTW] PQOTW: Practice "Questionably Official Test, Whee!"

[QOTW]

You must use a No. 2 pencil and votes must be complete. Do not use a 
mechanical pencil, or you will be automatically disqualified. It is very 
important that you fill in the entire circle darkly and completely, or 
you will be automatically disqualified. If you change your response, 
erase as completely as possible. Incomplete marks or erasures may result 
in automatic disqualification.

A pencil is required for this essay. Do not write your essay in your 
email. An off-topic quote frankly has a higher likelihood of acceptance 
than on-topic quotes. If your essay does not reflect your original and 
individual work, congratulations. You are not a narcissist.

"How do you fight with Benvolio? It's like fighting a baby made of 
sugar!"
-Ms. Tyson (on Mercutio)

You have twenty-five minutes to write your essay on the topic assigned 
below.

...

For each quote in this email, select the best answer from among the 
choices given and vote for it in your answer sheet.

1. What's, like, the funniest quote ever?

A) "A prosperous society has a lot of dead people." -Mr. Conolly
B) "My phone has a stylus too. It's attached to my hand. Permanently." 
-Siddartha
C) "'Photos from Allison' sounds like a really depressing '90s movie." 
-Robbie
D) Ms. Jackman: Did you ever have one of those fancy...
Alexandra D: A water bottle?
E) "[An enlarger is] basically a glorified flashlight." -Linus, on 
developing photos

2. Um I don't have a second question.

A) "I'm trying to learn new smells.  I'm expanding my nasal 
horizons."-Alex L.
B) "So if you are turned on by trees, go to a place where trees are." 
-Larry describing inspiration
C) "You're like a sensual noodle." -Halima
D) "I can't tell if you're nodding or pulsating with the funky beat of 
Gandalf sax." -Bridget
E) "The friend, of course, was Andrew Jackson. Because there were only 7 
people alive at the time." -Ms. Haber

STOP
If you finish before time is called, you may sit and twiddle your thumbs 
while you wait for time to slowly withers away. If you do not finish 
before time is called, you may panic and scribble frantically as you try 
to answer the last few questions. But remember, if you do not completely 
fill in the bubbles, you will be considered a national threat and 
neutralized by surrounding elite SWAT teams.

Please set down your pencils. Sign the PQOTW Certification Statement in 
cursive. Make sure that it is written in your own handwriting. If your 
handwriting is not cursive, you will be automatically disqualified.

-G.Mo "You may not discuss this test with anyone, unless it's for a 
joke." Kang-Suh