[QOTW] Brothers Grin (QOTW 10/20/14)

[QOTW]

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were abundant quotes 
that roamed the land. One day, the King ordered his friends to catch 
them and bring them to the Castle of Commonwealth. The King had a pretty 
normal iPhone. Every week he asked, "Siri, Siri, in my hand, say the 
funniest quote in all the land." Then Siri offered a list of insurance 
quotes so the King asked the same question to his friend, who answered 
thus:

Halima (on a Hemingway character): I think he's broken.
Chessy: He's not broken, just bent.
Ellie: (singing) "WE'RE NOT BROKEN JUST BENT AND WE CAN LEARN TO LOVE 
AGAINNN"
Ms Tyson: Ohhh lord.
Ellie: It's not Lorde, it's Pink.

Then the King said, "Heh. Yeah. That was funny." Then he ordered his 
friends to go catch some more quotes, and the friends caught ten more. 
Their names were:


Matti: What was eighteenth century religious pornography even about?
Abby: I was thinking Mary Magdalene/Judas slash fic...

"I often show cartoons from the French Revolution, but I usually draw 
the line somewhere... well, I always draw the line somewhere: Queen 
Marie Antoinette in all kinds of compromising positions."
-Ms. Budding

Tristan: What's the point of making eyelashes look good?
Alexis: Are you kidding me? Eyelashes are like the nails of your face, 
and your eyes are like your nipples. Except you don't have nails on your 
actual nipples, because that would be weird.

"No, you definitely don't need coffee.  I need coffee because you're in 
my class, but you don't need coffee."
-Mr. Sherry, to Ari

"I assumed ziti was some kind of vegetable."
-Jackie

"I'm never alarmed, I can't even imagine what that emotion feels like."
-Mr. Letarte

"It's a shame you can't socially acceptably kill children."
-Mary P.

Ari: I changed my mind right before class.
Mr. Sherry: Is it working better?

"Is this PEMDAS-sensitive?"
-Zehra

Student in calculus class: Buzz's head is in the way!
Mr. Sherry: Buzz's head is often in the way.
Buzz: What?
Mr. Sherry: It's okay.  Go back to sleep, Buzz.


The King was pleased with them, and asked the iPhone, "Siri, Siri, in my 
hand, say the funniest quote in all the land." Siri remained unhelpful, 
so the King turned to his friends and cried, "Y'ALL SHOULD VOTE FOR 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK BECAUSE IT'S FUN, JUST REPLY TO THIS EMAIL!"

-G.Mo "I'm pretty sure they all lived happily ever after but I can't be 
sure will someone check" Kang