[QOTW] Quote of the Week, March 7

[QOTW]

Dear quoters,
This is disgraceful. Apparently, the only way to get quotes is either to
listen to Mr. Davis _all day_ or to rant at you guys _all day_. Either way,
I have homework and I’m sure that you don’t enjoy being sent messages in
all caps, and Mr. Davis doesn’t enjoy being stalked during school hours (or
_after_…we need submissions that badly). We're all very lucky that one
person decided to submit two quotes in one e-mail, giving us what we know
as the bare-minimum-and-if-it’s-lower-than-that-you-did-a-bad-job of ten
quotes, so anonymous two-quote-submitter, please give yourself a pat on the
back because if you were a little lazier, the QOTW subscriber list would be
slightly less amused (there may be some of you who quoted twice in separate
e-mails, so please give yourselves a pat on the back as well if you wish to
do so). On a lighter note, our winner for this week is Ms. Grant, saying
"You know—okay...look; you can't go through life like this! ‘Where's your
son?’ ‘OH... I left him on the playground...’" Whether or not she’s talking
from experience, we don’t know, but congratulations Ms. Grant! Anyways, it
would be quite funny if I would forget to tell you how to submit in all of
this talk on how you don't submit, but I’m sure that there won’t be a
student who thinks to himself “He didn’t post the link to the voting and
submissions pages on the QOTW site for the sake of irony! This joke is so
well played that I’m inspired to submit despite his lack of instructions!”
though if you do think that, just pretend the rant ended after
‘congratulations Ms. Grant!’ because the link to submitting is
http://qotw.net/submit.php and to vote, you simply reply to this e-mail.

So sorry for the wall of text, and the bashing. Here are this week’s
quotes:

"Since we have museum day on Friday and no class on Monday, can we just
not have homework?"
"Oka- wait... why do we not have class on Monday?"
"Because we'll be at _lunch_!"
—Peter Hall, Mr. Paul and Rui Wang, on Monday 5th period Advanced Calculus

“I know you're playing a game on your calculator.”
“Actually I'm squaring numbers over here.”
[five minutes later]
“I raised two to the power of 0.01 so many times.”
—Laura Pedrosa and Danny Moraff, respectively

"In kindergarten I told everybody that my name was David. And then there
were parent teacher conferences and my parents were like 'No. His name is
Russell.' And they made that face to show how evil they were."
—Russell (making a weird face)

"Half of me is more of a man than four of Danny"
—Josh Nadel on Danny Moraff

"We live in a capitalistic society. You can't even beat a dog without
having to pay."
—Mr. Riahi

“ Mario, don't do it! _Shaul_ is the biggest proponent of this plan.”
“Not only Shaul, but people on the Internet, too!”
—Tili and Mario, respectively, on the Uberman Sleep Schedule

"Like the man in the story has a nightmare about the old woman's yellow
teeth, I'm going to have a nightmare about your belly button."
—Monica, to Eli K. (translated from Spanish)

"The more we read of Paradise Lost, the more it just feels like reading
fan fiction."
—Mario A.

"Don't bite. It is full of worms."
—Mr. Riahi, to a student taking an apple at lunch

"I didn't cheat, you were just an idiot."
—Kailash after Caleb accused him of cheating at a race

Remember to vote, but please, _please_ submit. I really don’t like yelling
at you because it’s really confusing to be assertive and aggressive while
not being mean. Make everyone’s life easier, and submit.

Shaul “oh my god why did I say quote-quota that is the lamest pun I’ve
heard in minutes” Vin