[QOTW] Quote of the Week, October 24

[Quote of the Week]

Dear QOTWers,
     As I'm sure you've realized, we've been having some quoter issues
here at QOTW; chiefly, they haven't been sending out emails. The
faovred excuse seems to be "I'm a busy senior, what do you want from me?"
and the answer is "a fifteen minute email, maybe some chocolate if you
have any," although this response generally gets me a whack on the head
with a college fact book. I have not been able to get in touch with this
week's quoter, but he/she was not a senior, which leads me to the sinking
suspicion that this time it might be my fault. At any rate, although I was
not quoter this week, I do have a collection of submissions and my own
selections to offer you-the quotes which I have been gathering for all
these quoters that never use them. Not that I'm bitter.
     I hope that you'll forgive us for the time we've missed and accept
this belated email as a sign of our repentance. If you're still mad, ask
me and maybe I'll give you some chocolate (everyone likes
chocolate, right?). Also, if you, an underclassman, would like to be a
quoter, please find me and say so: we need you to keep QOTW
running. You get complete power over your week's dose of comedy and you
get access to the secret qotw archives, including Ben Miller's old angry
customer complaints email, classic Miller puns included, which Borlin
seems to have considered "useful information" and stored here for future
generations. Go figure.
    Last email's winner:
“Do you marry your cousins?”
“No. That’s West Virginia”- David, the Virginian, answering Yankee questions

This week's nominees:

"They didn't have t.v." -Ben Hirsch, on why people went to public hangings

"Incesto!" -Zoe, excitedly reading off her randomly assigned Spanish paper
topic

"Did anyone get any of the problems?" -Ms. Jackman
"I got 37b wrong." -Nick Pittman

"Those guys with the glittery suit and animals...Sigmund and Freud."
-Will's "Freudian slip"

"Okay, so say I was-no wait, I'm not going to anthropomorthize here." -Ms.
Jackman, explaining molecular orientation/ learning from past mistakes

"Yay! I now get to say that my cat's named after a drag queen. Chrysis's as
straight as a neutered cat can get though." -Christine

"I never drank alcohol until I was 18. Wait how old do you have to be to
drink in this country? 21? I never had a drink of alcohol until I was 21."
-Mr. Riahi

"Education is not about unmitigated professionalism; you don't want to 
sound like someone who the kids will fall asleep listening to." - Laurie 
Tupper, advising on applying for a teaching position

"I'm incapable of being gauche. My gauche barely functions! [waggles
left hand]" - Jeff [right handed] Kaufman

"----. He can't have been so ----ing clever then." -(family friendly
version) note found inside library book next to line about Socrates, the
great phiosopher, being put to death

So that's all for this week. Unfortunately, due to our circumstances,
there are not enough quotes for honorable mentions. Hopefully next week
will work out better (or you'll get another hastily scraped together email
from me! How can we stand the excitement?). This week you can vote until 9
PM Friday, but remember to do so. After all, every vote that I agree with
counts.

-Greta "I couldn't do my homework, I was writing funny emails" Friar