[QOTW] Quote of the Week, May 14

[Quote of the Week]

Dearest QOTWers,
     I can't tell you how happy I am to be quoting again. We here at QOTW
have been working hard to expand our quoter pool: hence the large
number of first-timers quoting recently. I apologize for any
mishaps, mistakes, or miscalucuations that have occurred; give these guys
a hand and direct any complaints to me (it's always my fault, isn't it?).
     Meanwhile, in delightful defiance of the fundamental laws of the
universe, Ben Miller, winner of the infamous William Jennings Bryan
award (with 28 nominations and no previous victories), narrowly
defeated Ms. Nesson this week with the following quote: "Yeah, well
it's just like being back at Commonwealth again- I sit in a classroom
all day bored as [hell] pretending I care about what's going on
around me...except now I get paid to do it! Wait, this is off the
record, right?" -Ben Miller on proctoring APs. Time to watch out for
flying pigs, everyone. Seriously though, a warm welcome to the world
of QOTW champions, Ben. In the words of the wise Ben Orlin, "You are
now a man."
     Without further ado, here are this week's nominees:

"These are time restraints of Harsanyi-like proportions." -Nate P.

"Any similarities between Dylan and Kanga from Winnie the Pooh are purely
coincidential." -Ms. Bluestein, on Dylan's typically bouncy entry into
class

"I'm tired of people arguing. Some of you may have questions about why
we're making a Monday a Tuesday schedule and a Tuesday a Monday.
Well...don't ask!" -Mr. Wharton

"How could you be afraid of fascists in Austria? Austria is like the Rhode
Island of Europe; nothing ever happens there, and no one ever cares."
-Jenny's dad

"You are glazing a pot in ceramics and you want to know the surface
area...the sides of the pot are curved so that y equals x squared." -Mr.
Sherry, creating a "word problem"

"Mr. Davis, mueva*!" -Monica, explaining why she wouldn't give a Spanish
dance class at Hancock if other teachers could sign up (*roughly: "move
it")

"I need a gift for some curmudgeony old Swiss men. Do you think they'd
like Tomagachi?" -Jenny

"No sir, that was Samuel L. Jackson." -Eric Hanss, asked by a teacher if
he'd just said "the m-f word"

"Most of you are too young to know what a Communist Party is. It's not
like a toga party, it's a political party." -Rashid Khalidi, Max Cohen's
Columbia history professor

"Says the person being a rhinocerous." -Anna Moss, told to focus by Mr.
Phillips (who was holding a marker against his head)


So that's it for this week. Make sure to read all of your honorable
mentions; there are BUA kids who go through life without any funny at all.
Sign up for HMs at honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net and vote by 5 PM
Friday. Until next time,

Greta "yes, I was wearing a dress, I know, okay?" Friar