[QOTW] Quote of the Week, March 5

[Quote of the Week]

Dears QOTWers,
     I apologize for last week in general, but specifically for spelling
"duct tape" incorrectly. In this way, if in no other, I feel like I have
let you down. Commonwealth humor may not always make sense to the outsider
(nor will anything said in the Commonwealth lobby before 1 PM), but it
should always be intelligent and thus subtlely superior to all other forms
of humor. Personal opinion. At any rate, one thing for which I don't have
to apologize is this hilarious quote: "In the cities everyone lives so
close together: they can all have sex all the time. Jenny's looking
shocked. She's thinking 'What, Brookline?'" -Ms. Rome, on 19th century
fears on urbanization
I only hope that when I pin it up on the student board, Ms. Rome doesn't
hunt me down. And on that note, let's start this week off with another
wonderfully deleterious Commonwealth teacher quote (the nominees):

"I can't help you right now; I have to put on my gay persona." -Jean
before a GSA meeting

"My family doesn't cook; we scavenge. I just eat whatever I can get out of
the fridge." -Anna C.

"It's unspeakeable that we should be charging you all 26, 000 dollars a
year without teaching you that under each toilet is a little valve..."
-Larry, leading announcements, on bathroom etiquette

"Slightly less tempting." -Sam Freeman, hearing Commonwealth students sing
the Temptations

"The poignant thing about green eggs and ham is not that they're there;
it's that eventually they won't be." -Mr. Whelan

"Have you ever wanted to ask a fish, 'How are you, fish? How does the
water feel? Is it nice?' Well, now you can." -Julianna, reading her
Spanish piece outloud

"Why does everyone I draw turn into an androgenous man?!" -Anna Moss, in
the middle of class

"If Schubert was the king of melodies, then here is the queen." -Mr.
Phillips, introducting (Frederic) Chopin

"Why don't girls wear skirts? It's a little hard to give birth in pants."
-Mr. Conolly on the pants vs skirts "sterotype"

and the comedy duo:
"Mardi-gras is the best Western holiday ever. There's no presents but
there's candy." -Jenny
"Yes, there's also all that drunkeness, violence, and flashing." -Andrea
"It's like Halloween, but better!" -Jenny

So that's it. Those of you who are subscribed will be happy to know that
this week we've got a chock-full Honorable Mentions. Everyone else: I bet
you wish you'd signed up for them now, dontcha? Well, I'm giving you
another chance: honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net. It's like the
parmesan cheese on the savory oregano pesto that is QOTW (which, in turn,
adds flavor to the pasta of life: sometimes long and thin, sometimes ziti
or shell shaped, but you can always tell that it's done when you throw it
at the wall and it sticks). Remember to vote by 5 PM Fridays.

Signing off,
Greta "I prefer basil" Friar