[QOTW] Summer Edition

[Quote of the Week]

QOTWers,
     I've recently returned from fencing camp (so many jokes, yet none of
them remotely appropriate). I tried to set up a quoting system while I was
gone, which I'm sorry to see seems to have fallen apart. In order to try
to make it up to you, I'm sending out an email this weekend, even though I
am absolutely not at all prepared. To that extent, you may notice that
much of today's humor will be funniest for alumns. What can I say? They
submitted quotes. A special thanks to Joanna Rifkin, who, over the course
of QOTW's absence, still sent in submissions on a regular basis. Maybe now
you want to buy a stick insect from her?
     Last email's winner, which should be a refreshing surprise since I
assume you can't remember any of the nominees, was Eric, fencer:
"It's Winchester; just ask for the guy at the bookstore with the
beard. There's only one bookstore, and there's only one guy with
facial hair" (on looking him up/ living in Winchester). In the words of a
QOTW Winchesterite, "it's (so) true."
     Now for this week's nominees:

"You're bored? Why don't you call Roz, or Ben, or Ben, or Ben?" -Hilary
Johnson's mother

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Like Johnny Cash, I walk
it." -Sarah Schofield

"I may or may not have dyed my hair. I'll find out soon. Wish me luck."
-Jenny

"All I did was complement my mother's skirt, and suddenly everyone assumes
I want to steal it!" -Alex George, skirts

"The healthy caterpillars are actually kind of endearing- they're fuzzy
and visibly stupid. The virus-infected caterpillars are gross, and the
test for whether or not they have virus is called the 'splat-test,' which
is pretty self-explanatory." -Ben Parker, UChicago student, on his summer
lab job

"I don't want to play with a full deck-just take out all the aces, and
twos, and threes, and fours, and fives." -Leo Kastein, age nine

"Unfortunately, there's no way ballet is compatible with democratic theory
and practice." -Alex George, considering courses

"Usually when the tour guide mentions Arrr capella one of us jumps out
from under the archway, screams 'ARRR!" at the top of our lungs, and then
runs away. Not that I've ever waited under the archway for fifteen minutes
just because I know there's a tour coming...or ordered the others to."
-John Sheehy, captain of Brown's pirate a capella group

"We aren't fencing for at least an hour. First Atillio gives us a speech
about safety and then he brings in some policeman who tells us to buy
cookies. He always forgets to give us the police hotline number, but
apparently they're really good cookies." -Andy, the first day of fencing
camp

"Everyone at this camp is mental. You guys are the biggest hypochondriacs
I've ever seen. What do you want? No, I don't care. Go away." -the
trainer/ first aid guy by the end of fencing camp, to a bleeding girl


So that's it for this week. I intend to bring QOTW back to its normal
weekly standard, but that can only happen if we get quotes. So submit:
qotw at qotw.net. Quote yourself, if you want. You're funny. Remember to vote
by 5 PM Friday. If you vote for Alex George (and why wouldn't you),
remember to specify the quote.

-Greta "fencing is all about hooking up and scoring" Friar