[QOTW] The 2005 Quote of the Week Awards

[Quote of the Week]

Quote of the Week Members:

This email concludes QOTW's groundbreaking fourth season.  We now bring
you the Quotee Awards (TM) for 2005.  Each award was chosen through one of
the following methods: a democratic vote, a detailed and probably
inaccurate statistical analysis, and/or an arbitrary decision by yours
truly.

Without further ado, the awards:

MOST VICTORIES: Mr. Riahi, with a record-tying 3 winning quotes (two of
which reached the Quote of the Year finals)

MOST NOMINATIONS: Mr. Wharton, with 15

MOST OVERALL QUOTES (includes Honorable Mentions): Julian Hyde, with 46

MOST QUOTEABLE FAMILY: The Thals (Becca, Daniel, and their parents, who
combined for 19 nominations and 4 victories).  Other families receiving
recognition: The Thomases, the Davis/Siporins, the Whartons, and the
Grants.

WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN AWARD (given to the person who, like the great
Democratic presidential candidate William Jennings Bryan, gets nominated
over and over but never seems to win): Ben Miller, with 9 nominations and
0 victories.  (Miller finishes his Commonwealth career with 28 nominations
and 0 victories.)

MOST UNDERRATED QUOTE: "Diversity is like a little old lady who's got you
by the ears.  But you can't touch her, because she's a little old lady,
and in the end she probably means well." -Michael Sailsman

QUOTER OF THE YEAR (given to the person who most honorably fulfilled their
duties as Quoter): Alex George, whose punctuality, pithiness, and
excellent Honorable Mentions emails set the bar for future Quoters

MOST QUOTEABLE PEOPLE OF THE YEAR:
5.  Mr. Riahi
4.  Norris Wong
3.  Becca Thal
2.  Mr. Wharton
1.  Julian Hyde

And the moment you've all been waiting for, the QUOTE OF THE YEAR:

"It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside--like I just swallowed a
hamster." -Garrison Inge

And that's a wrap.  QOTW wishes to thank the following people who
contributed in exceptional ways to QOTW this year:
-Our 25 voters in the QOTY championship (with special thanks to Roswell's
mother, who offered to vote twice, and Becca Thal, who actually did)
-Everyone who was quoted by Quote of the Week this year, all 246 of you
-Everyone who submitted quotes
-Everyone who voted.  You are the Angels of Democacy.
-Reilly Grant, for continuing to selflessly host the QOTW web site and
email account
-Greta Friar, for agreeing to spend the rest of her biological life
frantically scribbling down overheard snippets of conversation
-Jeff Kaufman and Max Cohen, who unknowingly comprised QOTW's Judicial
Branch by calling us on our screw-ups

and, most importantly,

-This year's Quoters: Alex George, Micheline Heal, Reilly Grant, Harry
Alper, Joanna Rifkin, Bess Palmer, Ben Miller, Becca Thal, Josh Haselkorn,
Paul Cavallaro, Dewey Cyr, Andrea Lam, Roswell Thomas, Jenny Oberholtzer,
Kate Alper, Greta Friar, Maddie Laupheimer, Tanner Tillotson, Hilary
Johnson, Evan McGonagill, Sarah Gulick, and Cameron Russell.  You guys
made QOTW possible.

This is my final email as the semi-official ring leader of this circus. 
It's been a blast, guys: a four-year, 2300-quote blast.  Thanks for all
the laughs, and keep on submitting quotes!

-Ben "this is my descent into insanity, and you're all singing along!" Orlin

P.S.  Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking.  "What is this crap?  I
want new quotes!"  Fear not; QOTW will be back to normal starting next
week.