[QOTW] Quote of the Week, August 28

[Quote of the Week]

Dear QOTWers,
     I apologize that last week's email seems to have vanished to
whereabouts unknown in the internet. Unfortunately I've been in
Montana for the past fortnight and didn't discover this error until it was
too late. At any rate, you must be twice as eager as usual to learn who
our last winner was. Well, I won't keep you waiting:
'Sudden inexplicable darkness, one thousand feet.'-Ms Grant (reading a
roadsign partially covered by black plastic) won by a landslide. Last
email's other unresolved issue, phoenixes or phoenices, does not have so
clear a winner. Using QOTW's democratic practice, I would have to declare
"phoenixes" the winner, as it is the plural our readers favor. However, my
personal feeling is that phoenix has no plural, seeing as how there isn't
one in my dictionary and as how poets over the ages have only refered to
one phoenix, the Phoenix, male, immortal-well, you get the idea. Since
QOTW isn't actually about mythology, or the English language (well, not
really anyway), I'm going to leave the matter there. Even though I have
Merriam-Webster on my side. Just saying.
     Now, for our quotes:*

"I read in a scientific study that horses are like bricks on
toothpicks...yeah, I don't know what it means either." -Mary Ellen, on
horses, then responding to the remark "I don't get it"

"I was shot six times with poison arrows. I thought I was having the worst
day ever and then I realized: I'm not a newb." -gamer logic

"Who was filming her? Was it her husband?" -tourist on footage of a woman
being charged by a moose

"Blue cheese? I've never heard tell of it." -waitress

"I'm sorry; the lettuce has left the building." -waiter, on the restaurant
being out of salad

"My dog's name is Timber so when I was raising him he used to get loose in
the forest and I'd have to run through it shouting 'Timber!' I think I
scared off some of the visitors..." -park ranger

"We've got an NPC in our game and one of its automated responses is going
to be 'Oh no. More of them.' We think it's really cryptic." -high school
programmers

"I don't understand people coming to see Old Faithful. I could just throw
a bucket of water up in the air; it's the same thing." -bitter Montanan

"Remember kids. Reckless driving is F-E-T-A-L." -A drivers' ed instructor,
who seemed to have a hard time spelling that day.

"It's kind of obvious that Satan would have been angry at God for throwing
him down from heaven, isn't it? I mean, it's not as if it was a nice
flight. 'Thank you for flying Infernal Airways. Please fall from God's
graces again with us soon!'" -Andrea

So remember, voting ends at 5 PM on Fridays. Plus, you should sign up for
honorable mentions. They're hilarious. (Email
honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net.)Otherwise, until next week,
th-th-that's all for now.

-Greta "Yossarian lives" Friar


*Montana intolerant readers may wish to skip this week's nominees