[QOTW] QOTW] Quote of the Week, April 10, 2005

[Quote of the Week]

Hello quoters and quotees. As a new quoter I do not plan to make an
extra-special effort to be clever outside my natural abilities, because in
my experience, those who do just end up sounding constipated. I appologize
for the delay. It is well past 10:00, and I had some issues trying to
contact benorlin this morning so I could get him to show me the ropes.
Nevertheless, I've figured my way through it, and I'll just pretend it's
Sunday morning instead of Sunday afternoon. Ah Sunday. The day of large,
colorful Sunday comics (or "funnies", if you will), and of course, your
weekly dosage of qotw "funnies" as well. You know the drill: if you have a
favorite funny, you are invited and encouraged to vote. (Find instructions
at http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html.) Adrien Leblanc won last
week's competition, with her quote "The best sources, I've found, are
adolescent girls in love. Their memory is just incredible. 'He was wearing
this, he said this...'" This has been a rather sparse week for quotes, but
there still seem to be some reasonable ones.

The nominees:

"I think there should be a Concise and Essential Law. There should be a
format: who, what, where, when, why. No, not even why." Hilary Johnson, on
rambling announcements at recess

"Your eighteenth birthday is a momentous occasion: you're finally allowed
to buy votes and smoke pornography." Becca Thal's dad

"If you read any more [of my story], I'm going to take this keyboard and
shove it so far up your bum that you'll be typing when you eat." Olivia,
being precise

"I loved it, oh my god I loved it. Isn't that what I'm supposed to say?"
Mr. Wharton, at the fashion show

"We're going on a whale-watch, or, alternatively, a harbor cruise." Becca
Thal

"I would like to remind everyone to please use the tongs as you are gong
through the line at recess; do not just reach in with your hands. It is
against the law, and for a good reason. This reason is the "germ theory of
disease". Some people do not believe in the germ theory of disease, but if
you are one of those who do, please use the tongs." Mr. Wharton, making an
essential but not-so-concise recess announcement

"Doesn't it spread even more germs if everyone uses the tongs?" Garrison Inge

"Somehow I think the KKK would lose some credibilty terror-wise if they
decided to decorate their robes for seasonal holidays, especially for
Easter. I can't imagine polka dots and eggs striking fear in many hearts."
Some kid on the T, responding to some inevitably hilarious comment by his
friend that I didn't hear

"Eew, who wants to eat stuff that's touched the ground? That goes way past
the five-second rule." Copans, on plant-eating dinosaurs.

"I thought about putting 'smiting things' on my college application as an
extracurricular. Just talking about smiting stuff gives me a warm fuzzy
feeling. But I didn't think they'd take me seriously." Liz Greene,
highschool senior


Sign up for Honorable Mentions by sending an email to
honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net. Same quotalicious taste, with half
the calories. And  remember to vote. If you are over 18 and forgot to vote
in November, consider this a chance for partial redemption. The voting
booth closes at 5:00 pm on Friday, however, so don't get lazy about it.

Evan "chantico addict" McGonagill

P.S: This email was delayed due to technical difficulties.  Any blame for
its tardiness should be heaped squarely on the shoulders of Ben Orlin.