[QOTW] Quote of the Week, September 12, 2004

[Quote of the Week]

Voters:

Now it begins: Quote of the Week's fourth season.  Last season, QOTW
re-wrote its own record book with unprecedented numbers of funny quotes. 
It's time to start the whole crazy cycle all over again.

Now, more than ever, your vote counts, and your participation matters. 
Commonwealth's Class of 2005 will be graduating in a mere nine months;
it's time for underclassmen to step up and seize control of Quote of the
Week, so that it may survive to see another glorious year.

To vote, follow the instructions at http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html.

This week's quotes:

"The other day I went driving for the first time.  I pretended I was
parking between two imaginary sports cars--and let me tell you, I did a
lot of virtual damage." -Aaron Littman

"This is the Germanic tradition: you're rewarded for loyalty and courage,
and, secondarily, intelligence." -Craig Davis, Professor of European
Mythology at Smith College, explaining his grading policy

"On September 4th, Fiona Boger turned seventeen.  And on September 3rd,
Ms. Jackman turned older than seventeen." -Donna Desilus, announcing
birthdays

"I will not let you bring the lab notebooks home, because I've tried that
before and people forgot them.  'Oh, I left it at home.  Here, I'll write
my lab notes on this tissue I have in my pocket.'" -Ms. Jackman, on why
she's forcing chemistry students to keep their lab notebooks in the Chem.
lab

"I suggest: 'There are starving children in India who don't even get a
Leek.'  It'll help to put an end to any complaints about 'quality' and
'timeliness.'  Like those things matter." -Julian Hyde, proposing a slogan
for school humor magazine the LEEK

"I've only found it in RealVideo format, which is low quality.  Of course,
[the show] is pretty low quality to begin with." -Alex George, on
downloading the Star Wars Christmas Special online

"School is, for most people, an unnatural act.  And I'm not referring to
the old couch in the Commonwealth Lobby." -Mr. Wharton

"Chris and I hit the case: 'parents should be able to sell their
children.'  We got killed." -Garth, on his argument in a debate

"The older you get around here, the less you feel obligated to carry."
-Bess Palmer, on the size of the freshmen's backpacks

"Zero is a beautiful number... except for grades." -Mr. Riahi

Voting closes at 5:00 on Friday afternoon.

-Ben "hydrogen bonds" Orlin