[QOTW] Quote of the Week: July 4, 2003

[Quote of the Week]

Good Morning, Good Citzens of Quotitia;

This week we have a de-lovely batch of little gems for you: the punny, the
funny, the not-so-funny, and the otherwise.

I'm assuming that you all would like to know that last week's winner was
only determined after an extended dogfight between Messieur George and
Messieur Thomas. The winner:

"'Why I want to go to Harvard: Or, the Last Place the Feds Will Think to
Look For Me.'  If I write it the right way, you get a vague, almost
subconscious impression that you'll be putting your and your children's
lives at risk by not accepting me." -Roswell Thomas, on how to get into
college

That was delicious, now moving on to this week's NOMINEES. Remember that
since ain't nobody around to vote during the summer, your voice counts
even more, so vote- it'll put hair on your teeth!




"The guys on this team need to show more balls.  Not literally.  No one wants
to see that." -Josh Stern, head coach of the Bay and Ocean State Squids
swim team

"Aliens are a good thing to sleep with." -Emily Scarborough (from Missouri)

"Connecticut is just one giant traffic jam." -Natalie Bau

"I think we all just need to get off." -Ben Burroughs, on space colonization

"I sort of like when Michael Moore himself gets in the shot, as opposed to
doing the voiceover.  He's so very fleshy and charmless! It's entertaining
in its
way." -Becca Thal

"Following up on that point, I think we should take it as a sign that we
need to find a new direction
 but there's just so much at stake" -Chuck
"Deluxe" Ruiz, the original Puntificator, on the apparent inadequacy of
his directional sign-posts stake's pointiness (and ability to be pushed
into the ground).

"Wow, I had always wondered what it would feel like to have an icicle
shoved into your gut" -Jonathan Miller, on the Red Sox' 5-4 loss to the
Yankees in 13 innings

"You know, I never really wanted to know what it felt like twice" -Ellen
Miller, on the Red Sox' similarly gut-wrenching loss to the Braves in 12
innings the next night

"He had an enormous personality
 enormous loves. He was just an enormous
person, which possibly came from his enormous love of ice cream." -Bay
Wasserman, on my great-uncle (1931-2004)

"It was funny until you realized that he wasn't joking" -Walker Emerson,
on "Farenheit 9/11"


Hurrah and happy Fourth,
Ben "the cat's meow" Miller