[QOTW] QOTW December 12 2004

[Quote of the Week]

Dear wit buffs,
     Last week's e-mail had quotes which slighted MIT fencers, Teenage
girls, the 80's, Joanna Rifkin, Eric Hanss and perhaps the other
sophmore girls as well. But Ms. Jackman overcame all that negative
karma to win with her transcendental quote, "You thought I didn't
exist, like a 3F orbital or something." All is right with the
universe once again!
     And now, the quotes:
     "I think I'm one of those squeaky hammers." -- Nicholas Pittman,
small freshman, in an exercise where he was asked to decide whether
he was a hammer or a nail
     "The government is always acting in your name, even if it is
torturing you." -- Mr. Harsanyi, on Hobbes
     "The video's boring. I have the attention span of a ... uh ... case
in point." -- Madeline Haas, BB&N student
     "Fifteen dollars ... just throwing it away ... on flowers ... seems
kind of steep. But that's mainly becuase my first love is money." --
John Oliverio, on learning one of his classmates bought flowers for a
girl
     "Diversity is like a little old lady who's got you by the ears. But
you can't touch her, because she's a little old lady, and in the end
she probably means well." -- Michael Sailsman
     "We're a diverse town, which is a mixed blessing." -- Some guy from
Wakefield, trying to be funny
     "Pirate? That's so un-P.C. The proper term is 'buccaneer-American.' "
--Nathan, a freshman at Dartmouth
     "I don’t think I should see [Avenue Q] on stage. Whenever I see
puppets I start throwing up. Just throwing up all over the place
 The
same thing with porn. When I’m a father I’m just going to show my
kids so much porn that they throw up. Then I’ll turn them into
computer geeks." -- Max Cohen's hilarious roommate, Mike
     "Baseball is like Catholicism: It's a spectacle, and everyone is
watching." -- Mr. Wharton
     "Well, we'll always have our memories, won't we?" -- Ms. Nulty, on
the extinction of the Bonobo, a chimp noted for its extreme
promiscuity.

Want honorable mentions? Send an e-mail to honorablementions-submit at qotw.net!
-- Roswell "Red Scares Abroad and at Home" Thomas