[QOTW] QOTW HM June 12th, 2005

[Quote of the Week]

Honorable Mentions:

Remember, quoters, there are never lame weeks without enough quotes, only
lame quoters without enough skill.

"Is he in a book club? They probably make him go through the spanking
wheel all the time." ? Roz?s mom, on a relative of theirs

"Oh, it evaporates instantly. I just let it flow ? why do you think people
wear pants like this?" ? Josh, on wetting his technologically advanced
quick-dry cargo pants

"It's a fashion statement. Catsup is the new black." ? Ben Miller, on
being told he had a blob of catsup adorning his chin.

"Riding around in a tank ... it's like riding around in your own coffin."
? Roswell's dentist, who for some reason knows exactly what that's like

"And the black woman's view was ... sweetie, that's plastic; don't eat
it!" ? Emily Hall, switching off between talking about U.S. history
sources and talking to her cat.

"Mark plays the piano much better than I ever did. When we had the condo
he used to say if the neighbors heard me playing the piano they'd think it
was him playing while having a stroke and call an ambulance, so I never
touched it." ? The lovely Fiona, Roz's troll-like Natural Foods boss' wife

And now, the Julian Hyde section. If QOTW were a nation, Julian Hyde would
be on its currency. If it were a church, he would be a saint or
bodhisattva. If it were a novel, he would be an underlying theme. If it
were a group e-mail, he would have his own section sometimes.

"I like to organize things afterwards. Let's totally get together last
week." ? Julian, talking about people who like to plan things in advance

"Real men don't worry about loss of biodiversity." ? Julian

"I have this idea for 'Harry Potter and the Legitimate Authorities,' where
it's like, 'Harry, there's a monster loose in Hogwarts, go tell
Dumbledore,' and he's like, 'OK,' and the Ministry of Magic sorts
everything out." - Julian


"I think I saw the latest version of that movie ['Air Bud'] where the dog
like, ran around with a croquet mallet in his mouth. Or maybe it was a
football." ? Becca Thal, who would be the propagandic representation of
liberty, were QOTW the French Revolution

- Roswell "home for the first time since graduation" Thomas