[QOTW] QOTW Honorable Mentions, May 16

[Quote of the Week]

"I don't get the bit about teachers working too hard.  They should suck it
up and start slacking.  If they can't slack, they should grow some
backbone." -Julian

"They didn't want to lose to Gerald Ford, who kept bumping into things and
forgetting where he was." -Roz, on the Democrats choosing a presidential
candidate in 1968

"Becca didn't think she needed Jesus until she nearly died in a freak
dishwashing accident. Can Christianity save her in time?" -Becca Thal"Just
make it up!  We won't call you on it!" -Julian, trying to persuade Mr.
Phillips to convert the Physics class into a history of science class for
the last few weeks of the year

"Call it 'debunking the myths of science.'" -Miller, in response to Julian

"Most of you guys have been trained--like monkeys--to think that imaginary
numbers mean nothing." -Phillips

"Do not change your sleeping quarters without my knowledge, or I
will--who, who!--chase you down and make you sleep in the woods." -Mr.
Riahi, on being Hancock "night owl", responsible for making sure all the
students are in bed on time

"Dear Madam, he is too good for you.  By the power vested in me by the
state of Massachusetts, I break you two up." -Julian, on what it would be
like if the Massachusetts government were allowed to deny marriage
licenses to ill-matched couples

"This is a very tricky one to solve, but you can do it.  Well, you can't
do it; I can do it." -Mr. Phillips, to his Physics 1 class

"Who is the greater fool: the fool, or the fool who dates him?" -Alex

"If you're ever being sassed by the mafia, don't yell, 'Prohibition's
over!  Get over it!'  They take it personally." -Julian

"I'm not too observant today.  At least I'm better than Owen, who just
asked me what town boasts claim to 'Belmont Hill.'" -Jenn Orlin.  Belmont
Hill is in Belmont.

"Why settle for murder when you can have assassinations?" -Max Cohen,
advertising "The Manchurian Candidate"

"Give me a second while I use Google as an extension of my brain." -Julian
Hyde
"I wonder if my chromosomes are friends...." -Evan McGonagill

"When did tarring and feathering go out of style?" -Josh Haselkorn

"It's Fitzgerald's best.  If you fall in love with it and want to read
more--forget it!  You're going to be disappointed.  The other novels are
horrible." -Ms. Bluestein, on The Great Gatsby

"'Wild, unknown men.'  These people don't sound like 'my sophomore
roommate from Duluth', but they are." -Ms. Bluestein

"The problem with being the comic relief is that you don't get any
on-screen kissing scenes." -Andrea Lam

"I can't poke you.  You're too tiny and frail.  I would crush you!" -Greta
Friar

"Poodles are the most noble of beasts." -Julian

"No math concept is worth all this anguish." -Anonymous student

"I've never been asked in Truth or Dare.  I feel as if I'm missing out on
some great American rite of passage." -Andrea Lam

"It's mutual Stockholm Syndrome." -Alex George, on his relationship with
Joanna Rifkin.  Stockholm Syndrome is the attraction of a hostage to the
captor who has spared his or her life.

Special recognition this week goes to Julian, who had at least three
top-notch quotes, but was limited to one nominee, as per QOTW regulations.
 (Specifically, the "Mr. Young Clause" of the QOTW Constitution prevents
any one person from being nominated with multiple quotes in one week.)

-QOTW Management