[QOTW] QOTW: Archival Edition

[QOTW]

One bare lightbulb on a wire. You pull the string and it flickers weakly 
to life. The air is cold and musty. Filing cabinets fill the room as far 
as the eye can see. Welcome...to the QOTW Archives.

In cleaning out the inboxes I discovered some gems and thought it would 
be a nice way to start the summer. All your favorite highly quotable 
teaches, here in one easily accessible edition. QOTW will pick back up 
in the fall, but don't forget to vote on these so we have something to 
begin with when school starts again!!!

"If you feel the need to use the word 'penis', come into my office, say
it, and leave." -Mr. Wharton, on using profanity in school (2003)

"Do you guys always sit like that?" -Anonymous, on Commonwealth students 
(2003)

“Get me extension cords for the hell machines!” – Susan Thompson (2003)

"[Seeing my gay friends get married] reminded me that some day I could 
get
married too. Then I remembered that required another person." -Mr. 
Sherry (2004)

“I don’t want to throw pearls into the willowing pots of swine” -Mr.
Vollrath, on his French 1 class (2004)

"What will happen will be this large class moving through the school, 
the
way I see it, like a rat moves through a snake." -Mr. Wharton, on the
incoming freshmen class (2005)

"You're going to fall in love with someone. They're going to die.
You're going to die. Your kitten's going to die." -Ms. Grant (2005)

"There comes a point as a ceramics teacher when you just get tired of 
pot
jokes." -Jean (2005)

"I want to be resurrected as a virile 18 year old!" -Mr. Conolly (2006)

“You are standing on a frozen pond. You hear the ice start to crack. You
try to move, but you can’t. So what do you do? You start a striptease.
Fast! And try to keep some decent clothing on for when you finally reach
the shore.” -Mr. Riahi on rocket propulsion in action (2006)

"Though you think of me as your teacher, I'm actually your slave." -Mr.
Conolly (2006)

“Dormía con un ojo abierto; La gallina me iba a comer.” -Mónica (I 
always
slept with one eye open; the chicken was going to eat me.) (2007)

"There will be no AP question that asks: 'What was the stain on Monica 
Lewinsky's blue dress? A: A McFlurry...'"- Ms. Haber (2010)

"Oh, Kennedy... I had a crush on him when I was five. My kindergarten 
boyfriend wanted Nixon to win. That was the end of the relationship." - 
Ms. Grant (2010)

"Strapless is acceptable; topless is not." -Mr. Hodgkins (2011)

"Don't eat the cows, don't eat the cows, don't eat the cows... You ate 
the cows? BAM!" -Ms. Brewster (2012)

"Potatoes were a fantastic innovation for Europe during this period.  
There are many benefits... You know, I always used to give my seniors a 
full reading about the potato, but it wasn't very popular." - Ms. 
Budding (2012)

Student: I like watching amateur water polo.
Anna Moss: What, like, drowning other people? (2013)

"I've come to the realization that 'sorry' at Commonwealth is kind of 
like 'shalom' -- it means hello, goodbye, and peace." -Ms. Haber (2013)

"No defenestration of any kind!" - Ms. Tyson (2013)

"You don't want to just," *loud snort*, "You know, like a cocaine 
addict." -Ms. Jackman on proper wafting technique (2014)

"I grab an apple. Then I reach into the bag of natural numbers and grab 
a 1. Then I pair them together and hurl them out the window." -Mr. 
Letarte (2014)

Ms. Tyson: What sorts of things have initiations?
Class (together): Cults! (2014)

"The worst that can happen is a total disaster." -Mr. Barsi (2014)

Ms. Budding: "People were literally bringing their beds outside and 
sleeping in the cold Russian winter to be first in line for bread."
Student: "Like with the iPhone 6?"
(2014)

"Man, is this beautiful and man, is it going to be dead." -Ms. Haber 
(2014)

And, finally, some classics from my freshman year:

"I'm well aware that algebra students could help each other out in the 
bathroom." -Mr. Wharton (2016)

"I am worried that I will fail this exam and then I will not get into 
college and I will end up living in a cardboard box." - Ms. Budding, on 
writing down your fears before exams (2016)

Have a great summer!
Emily "The Boarding Student" Hart