[QOTW] Winter Break Countdown 12.10.17

[QOTW]

Greetings all, and Happy Holidays!

Don't forget to get gifts for you Secret Santees, or they'll be really 
sad.
That said, let's congratulate Barbara Grant for narrowly winning the 
last round:

"I'm actually a member of al-Qaeda"
-Ms. Grant, on why she was writing Arabic words on the whiteboard

This week's set of scintillating, "laugh your head off" quotes::

"If I'm citing the Bible, can I cite Jesus as the author?"
-Sophia

Please clarify what kind of stuffing, like food stuffing or oomph 
stuffing?
-Eric

"I'm the purest man alive"
-Jonah Freid

"Can you imagine your bones being pulled apart?"
-Zoe

"I like the smell of toxic things."
-Kyla

"It's academic dishonesty time."
-Alex Dalton

"Satan's practicing mindfulness."
-Noah Powell

Tobit Glenhaber: "Miriam, are you Judas or Jesus?"
Miriam Boardman: "Is there a difference these days?"

"I can't, like, focus if I have pants on."
-Tarang Saluja

"I had a bar mitzvah in that my parents went to a bar."
-Linus Glenhaber

Charlie (to students blocking Dartmouth stairs): This is not a good 
place to sit children.
Some freshman: We're not children!
Charlie: Yes you are.

"Do you need a hunting license to punch a deer?"
-Aaron Kerner

That's it for this week! Keep submissions coming in for a jumbo edition 
to come out during Winter Break!

Moustafa "I'm your Secret Santa" El-Dayisty