[QOTW] quote of the week, ultimate edition

[QOTW]

Dear Readers,

   Hope you all are having a wonderful summer. The winner from last 
week's e-mail was Simon, for inventing the very catchy airport slogan, 
"Keep calm with a carry on!"

   Those of you who pay attention to the title will see its called the 
ultimate edition (and if you hadn't, I bet you looked up at the title 
right now). This e-mail has not ten, not fifteen, not twenty, but a 
whopping TWENTY-TWO quotes! Have a "congratulations" and pat yourselves 
on the back for being such wonderful submitters all year round! 
Although, the reason there's a whole twenty two quotes is that Sophie 
and I started slacking after Hancock because of the prophesied arrival 
of exams! Apologies! But on the bright side, we all survived!

Now on to the real reason you're reading this, the quotes!

"Commonwealth students couldn't find sticks in the forest if they were 
labelled!"
- Ms. Bluestein at Hancock


"What if we filled a hyperbolic plane with mice and then put a huge 
chunk of cheese right outside of it, so the mice would smell it, but 
never be able to reach it.  That would be hilarious!  It would be the 
Hyperbolic Cheese Hell!"
- Pher on hyperbolic geometry



"So we planted a seed to open the floodgates... It's a mixed metaphor."
- Mr. Connoly


"Hey Mattie, I just realized that I accidentally stole all your money 
yesterday."
- Eliza


"So there is one level of further complexity to this that we have 
ignored thus far."
"I hate these moments."
- Ms. Jackman and Atticus


"How come only the sexual stuff I say gets submitted to quote of the 
week?"
- Pher (don't worry Pher, we pick up on torture traps for mice you 
invent too)


"I feel like once I came to Commonwealth, I stopped caring about what 
clothes I wear."
Rachel T.


"But you just have to flip coins, you don't have to decide whether we 
live in a Calvinistic world"
-Mr. Sherry, after going on a tangent about quantum theory versus 
determinism to answer a question about probability


Mr. Wharton: Don't you have exams to study for?
Mark: Hah! ...I mean yes, yes so many exams...
Mr. Wharton: Mark, if you don't do well on your exams you can't come to 
my house for dinner.


"A firm's income statement may be likened to a bikini--what it reveals 
is interesting but what it conceals is vital"
- the Econ book


"I've got 99 problems and they're all calculus and Facebook chat!"
- Alina


Ms. Grant: "If Caesar made an announcement..."
Seth: "...he would probably sound like Mr. Wharton!"


"If you see someone wearing a sign that says 'vagina', you cross the 
street. Honestly, didn't you learn anything in Health and Community?"
- Ms Haber.


"So Frederick Barbarossa was like, 'Hey I just met you and this is 
crazy but I'm your new king, so hail me maybe.'"
- Colin (I tip my hat to you, Colin! )


"Oh he was in the Third Crusade and there was a river but he was all, 
'I can take you!' and so he just crossed in his full battle armor...what 
an idiot!"-Colin, on Frederic Barbarossa's death


"You had no idea reproduction was oh so exciting! Well, maybe you 
did..."-Ms. Mechaber


"Wait! You're only a 0.5 Jew! Our Jewisness supply will run out!"
"I can be a Jew on airplane mode- the battery lasts longer that way!"
- Lydia and Feyga


"I have the beach in my pants!"
- Mark, on the bus back from beach day


"Bananas of the world, unite! In my mouth! Wait..."
- Anika, eating ice cream


"Did Tahmid just call you 'a brotha with no man parts from anotha 
motha?' Would it be weird to say I'm jealous?"
- Emma Su


"Well, eggs are kinda healthy. And, uh, chocolate's good for the soul."
- Colin, on the healthiness of chocolate chip cookies


And this gem of a quote that somehow never made it into our previous 
quote of the weeks:


"Hi: how much meat can I get for seven dollars??"
-A famished (and dead serious) Yo ordering dinner after the Greenfield 
ultimate tournament.


And now for the final, heartfelt message from me and Sophie thanking 
you all for a wonderfu.... wait! no! There is one more e-mail coming up, 
quote of the year!
It will arrive once we have processed all of your votes for this batch, 
so vote up! You can vote by replying directly to this e-mail or going to 
http://www.qotw.net/voting.php!

And no more submitting, although Sophie and I would not mind reading 
hilarious quotations periodically throughout the summer.

Tahmid "you ain't heard the last o' me!" Rahman