[QOTW] QOTW, Feb. 27

[QOTW]

 Hello, dear subscribers. This is a special Quote-of-the-Two-Weeks 
 edition
 due to last week's humor either being either non-existent or 
 impressively
 under-reported.

 Last week's- er, that-week-two-weeks-ago's submissions and voting 
 resulted
 in a five-way tie! I can't remember having a more-than-two-way tie 
 since
 we started doing this. These are the five that won:

 "I'm a camp follower of Genghis Khan. I'm all about violence. I think
 whatever politics is about, it should at least be violent."
 - Mario A.’s Freshman Seminar professor, on his political views

 "It smells really bad in this room...I think it's the freshmen."
 - Mr. Whelan

 "You might've heard about this with car engines, like, 'Baby that car's 
 got
 mad torque!'"
 - Ms. Cyrier explaining torque

 "I think mathematicians see Algebra as the nectar of the gods. And by 
 nectar,
 they mean absinthe, possibly laced with hallucinogens. I agree - it is 
 pure
 distilled mindf***. And yet so wonderful..."
 - Mario A., pondering why all the sanity-melting math courses tend to 
 be
 Algebra-related

 "We talk about Mr. Clifford the way other people talk about television 
 shows.
 We're always randomly shouting 'Oh my gosh do you remember that time 
 when...'"
 - Danny

 This is what happens when only five people vote, I guess. 
 Congratulations to
 all of you, anyway.



 This week's choices:

 Josh: "Me and words don't get along."
 Alex: "Words and I."

 "You know what -- lately I've been having this new theory that someone 
 stole
 my organs."
 - Alina

 "Am I not- I- I'm not wearing a shirt!"
 - Kailash, who was, in his defense, wearing a hooded sweatshirt, but 
 even so...

 "Actually, Transformers 2 was filmed at Princeton and me and my friend 
 tried
 to sneak on the set as extras, and I think they caught us because they 
 realized
 none of their extras were allowed to wear these yellow... Jew shirts."
 - Mr. Limperis, when asked about the Hebrew on his shirt

 "What have I told you about pornography? That stuff stunts your 
 growth."
 - Mr. Davis, admonishing a student to put away his perfectly innocent 
 iPhone

 "I used to take people seriously when they said they had eyes in the 
 back of
 their heads and I'd stare at the back of people's heads for hours and 
 be like
 'Oh, I can kind of make out the outline...'"
 - Allie R.

 "They were disciples with benefits."
 - Mrs. Grant

 "['...he encountered four young men, babbling, engaged in a discussion 
 of the
 methods of killing cockroaches in the Middle Ages.'] I think, by the 
 way,
 that these guys must have been from Commonwealth, because this is 
 EXACTLY
 the kind of conversation you hear around this place."
 - Mónica, interrupting the in-class reading of Cien años de soledad

 Ms. Haber: "It's called the Gilded Age because of the [class division]. 
 It's
 called the Guilded Age because of the rise of unionized labor. It's 
 also
 called the Guilted Age because of moral reform."[time passes, and the
 conversation moves to the rise in immigration] "The Russians were 
 Russian
 Orthodox, which was really weird, but what else were they? THEY WERE 
 THE JEWS!"
 Shaul: "So it's also the Gelted age?"

 "At first you're like 'He sounds like a middle-aged lesbian' but then 
 you're
 like 'TALK TO ME JUSTIN!'"
 - Grace C. describing Justin Bieber's voice after seeing "Never Say 
 Never"



 To vote, reply to this email with a ranked list. Further instructions 
 are
 at http://www.qotw.net/voting.php
 Submissions can be made at http://www.qotw.net/submit.php
 To sign up for the Honorable Mentions list, which is sent out 
 periodically
 with the left-over submissions that don't make it into the regular 
 emails,
 send an email to honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net

 Enjoy, vote, and submit.
 - Asa "See this quinoa here? This is aquínoa!" Goodwillie