[QOTW] Quote of the Year Awards, 2009-2010

[QOTW]

Dear QOTW subscribers,

This may be our last email to you. It remains to
be seen whether we'll decide to pass on the Quoter's Baton to some worthy
successor(s) or whether we'll say instead "Nah, that was half a year and
the two of us were switching back and forth. We're keeping the damn
thing."
If the former- goodbye. It's been real, as they say.
If the latter-
MWAHAHAHA. You poor bastards are stuck with our nagging for a while
longer!

One very, very important apology: when compiling the weekly
winners for the email you all got two weeks ago, I somehow managed to leave
out the last one- Mario's witty gem about the Burning Toilet Paper Roll
Award for the most under-rated junior! He therefore was unfairly deprived
of a quite legitimate shot at the Quote of the Year title. I'm truly sorry,
Mario, but there's nothing I can do but give you this Honorable Mention of
sorts.

Without further ado, here are the awards!

MOST NOMINATIONS:
Mr.
Davis, with 18- more than twice as many as the next.
This came, I think,
from both of us being in his English class and often having to supply most
of the submissions ourselves. That isn't to say this award isn't deserved,
of course- I'm sure he'd have won anyway, though perhaps not so
dramatically.

MOST WEEKLY WINS:
A tie between Mr. Davis and Ms. Grant,
each with three.
(Eagle-eyed readers will note that Mr. Davis arguably has
four- generally speaking, I've given each person involved in a winning
piece of dialogue credit for a win, but I just didn't feel right about
giving Mr. Davis, Shaul, Ben K., Maria, and myself credit for that
particular winner, so none of us received credit.)

WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN
AWARD for most nominations without a victory, in honor of America's most
consistent Presidential loser:
A three-way tie between Ms. Budding, Dan F.,
and Danny Mo., each with four.

MOST QUOTABLE, based on a weighted points
system which was modeled [by me] on what Ben Orlin appeared to have done
years ago, and which later received Ben's blessings; future Quoters should
get in touch with me to find out what I [and Ben] did:
(top ten listed in
ascending order for maximum drama
10. Marielle: 25
9. Asa: 27
6. Mr. Riahi:
28
6. Gabe M.: 28
6. Ms. Haber: 28
5. Mario: 36
4. Mr. Conolly: 37
3.
Hannah K-H: 41
2. Ms. Grant: 63
1. Mr. Davis: 108

Now comes the biggest
award of them all: the one and only Quot(e/ation) of the Year!
After eleven
votes, there was a three-way tie, but a last-minute twelfth vote broke it
in favor of our winner:

"Well, let's say you I and were standing side by
side, talking, and you had some sort of alpine pick ax. You know, with a
sort of pointy bit on one side...? And as you began to speak, you leaned
the tip on my foot, and as you continued you leaned harder and harder until
my foot was impaled on this ax! Well, there are two things I could do at
this point: I could slap you and say "ah, son of a bitch!", or I could
smile oddly at you and nod until you began to realize that something was
wrong."
- Mr. Davis explaining Hemingway

Many congratulations to Mr.
Davis, who seems to have decisively swept pretty much everything in these
awards.
Many thanks to all of you for a delightful, Davisian year.

See you
in the fall (or perhaps not),
Asa & Shaul

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