[QOTW] Quote of the Week, September 6

Quote of the Week qotw at qotw.net
Mon Sep 6 09:14:06 EDT 2004


Voters:

QOTW apologizes for this slightly late email.  Our Quoter was called away
on urgent business (something about being out of catsup), and it took us
some time to scramble together this week's batch of quotes.  Luckily, we
were able to do so, and these quotes meet the unparalleled standard of
quality that has made QOTW famous (i.e., they're mostly in complete
sentences).

Last week's winner was "Okay, I'm going to light the candles with this
candle, and I won't get any wax on the cake, because I'm going to do it
the way I told Alex not to. That's what I call my nurturing
parental--ouch! Okay, that was God punishing me for my nurturing
parental--aah!" -Ms. Grant, lighting birthday candles after warning her
son Alex that he might burn himself.

I see that crazy gleam in your eye.  You feel the primal urge to vote,
don't you?  Well, no longer must you repress your desire.  Simply follow
the instructions at http://www.qotw.net/~qotw/howtovote.html, and unleash
the democratically active beast within.

This week's quotes:

"We've been trying to get a new car since I was eight or nine. Or thinking
about it. Another running joke of my childhood.  It was like moving to
Ipswich, for a while.  Get a new car!  Yeah right.  Move to Ipswich. 
Sure." -Roswell Thomas

"All of Paul Hamm's hormones went into building up those enormous shoulder
muscles; nothing was left to help his voice change at puberty." -Lynn
Gervens, on the gold-medal gymnast's chipmunk-like voice

"Harry is angsty and speaks in CAPS LOCK. I'm just waiting for BOLD
18-point font Harry. With double underlines." -Andrea Lam, on the fifth
Harry Potter book. (Quoter's note: this quote was originally enhanced by
some very creative text formatting.)

"Whoa, man. Like, the girl in your answering thingy has a really sexy
voice. I think I'm going to call again just to hear her. Don't pick up."
-Norris Wong, to Paul Cavallaro, about Paul's robotic voice message

"Tell the freshmen it's fine to eat the chocolate they find on the
scavenger hunt, but remind them to save the wrappers as proof they found
it.... If they eat the wrappers, they're going to end up at Milton
[Academy] anyway." -Larry Geffin

"Then, he goes on by saying that the Yankees have good-looking players
like A-rod, and Jeter. And once he said that, I said, 'Yeah whatever,
Jeter swallows.' And he says, 'What about Alexandra Rodriguez,' and I was
like 'What?  GAY-rod?' I don't know, it was kinda funny, I guess." -Mike
Fong, explaining an "inappropriate" discussion he had had with one of his
professors

"I'm sorry I was late for class; I was touching the pulley wheels."
-Caroline, on the old pulley wheels at Commonwealth as a potential
distraction for students

"How do you operate this pocket?" -Andrew

"The artist requested to make the devil either George W. Bush or
Spongebob.  I said that, while [her ideas were] tempting, a half-man,
half-goat with horns, fire, a tail, and a trident would suffice." -Alex
George, on the artist making the cover art for the upcoming QOTW book

"Yeah, I'm, like, the epitome of articulateness." -Gabe Espinal

The virtual voting booths close at 5:00 pm on Friday, so be sure to vote
early.  Also, sign up for the Honorable Mentions email (this week
featuring graffiti as a political statement, shameless corporate
sponsorship, a butt joke, and a blast from the recent past) by sending an
email to honorablementions-subscribe at qotw.net, and then following the
instructions in the confirmation email.

-Ben "symphony-man" Orlin



More information about the Quoteoftheweek mailing list